By Smaktakula

But Is It Reputable? Products Promoted By Hammer Are, If Anything, TOO Legitimate.

Cash4Gold.  You’ve seen the ads on TV, at the mall and on creepy hand-drawn signs stapled to telephone poles at the edge of town: “Turn your useless gold into cash!”  But why the sudden demand?  Who wants all this gold?

This Explanation Is As Likely As Any Other.

There are a number of likely suspects.  In fact, any group with sufficient pooled resources and a lack of scruples could be behind it: old moneyed families angling for more power, corporations looking to corner the market on the precious metal or the Red Chinese using financial flimflammery to bring the West to its knees.

Fact: Investing In The Precious Metal Can Be A Lifesaver When Your Career Goes In The Toilet.

As plausible as any of these explanations may be, they all fail to identify the actual culprit.  Then just who is behind this sudden drive for gold?  To arrive at this answer, it is critical to first shed preconceived notions about what is likely or even possible.  Then, begin at the beginning by asking the question whose answer will cut through the mystery:  What group’s craving for gold hovers on the edge of obsession and has come to define them as a people?

"Always With This Guy The Same Answer. Guess Again, Schmuck."

The answer to who is behind the Cash4Gold drive then becomes obvious–a leprechaun consortium.

"Nay, Nay, Nay. Oim Us Innocent Us Ah Babe. Twas Sahm Dairty Eyetullian Fooker Fahr Sure."

SHILLELAGH TIME! ∞T.