By Smaktakula

General We Understand. But Why Butt Naked?

In 1971, Joshua Blahyi’s parents christened him with a perfectly respectable name.  But during the first Liberian Civil War of the early-1990s, the young Sarpo tribesman became better known as the infamous General Butt Naked.

That the name sounds reminiscent of a comic book super-villain is appropriate.  According to his own testimony before Liberia’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission, Gen. Naked and his forces slaughtered upwards of 20,000 people.  While such a figure does not propel him to Hitlerian status, it does confirm his status as a free-swinging cock.

Which, perhaps not coincidentally is how Gen. Naked acquired his colorful nickname.  Said to lead his troops clad in nothing but sneakers and an assault rifle, the freeballing guerilla struck fear in the hearts of his enemies.

"Because Of The Atrocities, Human Sacrifice And Blood Drinking--All Performed Nude, I'd Like To Add-- People Have The Idea That I'm Some Kind Of Monster."

His savagely loyal troops were often similarly non-attired.  Sometimes they would dress in drag before their raids, presumably to strike extra fear within the hearts of any homophobes among their victims.

Sister Is Doin' It For Himself.

The General’s career began when he received a phone call from the devil at age 11.  Backed by his infernal sponsor, Naked was soon a high priest among his tribe, practicing a fanatical polyglot Christianity which incorporated aspects of several local faiths.  The warlord admitted to acts of child sacrifice and blood-drinking on the eve of battles.

General Butt Naked is reformed now, and works as an evangelical minister in Liberia.  The General claims to feel “very bad, so bad” about his former crimes, but insists that as one possessed by the devil, he is not responsible for his actions. The nickname he keeps around as a sort of souvenir.

God Forgives Reverend Butt Naked. Why Won't The Families Of His Victims?