• Get To Know Promethean Times!
  • Magnificent Bastards
  • Douchebags Emeritus

Promethean Times

~ A Collection of Oddities Calculated to Amuse, Enlighten and Horrify.

Promethean Times

Tag Archives: Yao Ming

Return Of Not What You Were Looking For?

02 Friday Mar 2012

Posted by tardsie in Culture, Stupidity

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

abortion, Afghanistan, Barack Obama, Barry Bonds, Baseball, Bert & Ernie, Billy Carter, black sororities, breastuses, Camilla Parker Bowles, China, Courtney Love, degenerates, dope, douchebaggery, drugs, drunken Irishmen, Emmanuel Lewis, even Jesus thinks Fred Phelps sucks, fauxhawks, fellatrix, femullet, grass, hemp, Herb Tarlek, Hugh Hefner, Kim Jong-un, marijuana, Massengill disposable douche, mullets, North Korea, not what you were looking for?, Pedobear, pork, pot, Prince William, reefer, Robert Mugabe, rope, Russell Brand, seriously--hippies are odious, Stupid Gene, sweet sweet cheeba, Taliban, testicles, Tina Fey, Tina Fey not dead, tiny penis, urban legends, vagina, water sports, weed, Westboro Baptist Church, Yao Ming

By Tardsie

There's No Such Thing As A 'Typical" Promethean Times Reader. The Only Common Thread Is Degeneracy.

Not everyone who visits Promethean Times finds us on purpose. Here we respond to some of the bizarre, dangerous and downright foul search terms by which you found us. Enjoy!

***

fags love straight men ~ It’s true, but just between us, you’ll be safe.

sexual watersports ~ What’s that, like having sex on water-skis? We’ll just look that up and…OH! OH, MY GOD! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

ugly guy with mullet ~ We’re gonna need more details.

drunken irish beaver ~ We challenge you to show us an Irish beaver who’s not drunk.

"Aw Jaysus, Mikey, Me Ould Son--Oim So Fookin' Pissed Oi Cannah Remember--Iz'tah Wrang Soide Ah Dah Rood Daht We Droive Ahn, Oir Dah Roight Soide?"

hugh hefner creepy ~ Really? You don’t think it’s normal for a doddering, incontinent old man to make pretend sex with silicate vixens?

a is for addict ~ b is for bum. This is fun!

in squalor recluse no friends ~ Sounds tough, buddy! Hopefully we were able to make you smile.

is pauly shore allergic to anything? ~ We like the way you think. Tell us you’ve got a lunch date with Pauly.

courtney love breast feeding at Wendys ~ Surely even the most rabid breast-feeding advocate must concede that such a thing is neither natural nor beautiful; it is an abomination.

Apparently, She Lactates Pure Methadone.

emmanuael lewis 2011 ~ Skonk 4 LIFE, Yo!

confusion in 84 year old ~ That’s bound to happen.

does prince william call camella “mom”  — What do you think, retard?

tina fey dead ~ She’s NOT dead. We told you that.

history of black dicks ~ Well, you might want to start with Robert Mugabe, and Barry Bonds was supposed to be a real jerk…you meant ‘black penii,’ didn’t you?

Being A Nice Guy Doesn't Matter Until You Lose Your Ability To Hit.

what did billy carter do ~ Besides embarrass a nation, you mean?

who is prince william’s soulmate? ~ ‘Lil ‘Lil Kim. We also told you that.

cons to a temporary marriage ~ Same as the cons for a permanent marriage: your spouse.

did you invite jesus ~  Hells yeah! He’s doing Jell-O shots.

"The Bad News Is That We're Out Of Wine. The Good News Is We've Got All This Bottled Water, And I Know This Party Trick..."

bert and ernie gay ~ You’d think that Bert would be the ‘man,’ but no, it’s Ernie.

opinions on abortion — We’ve got enough opinions already.

how to thank an asshole for an asshole action — Flush?

paul pierce eyes–And now we suppose that Paul is blind.

percentage of men who climax on their partner’s face ~ It’s about 45%. The percentage who do it a second time? 0%.

Seriously, It's Not Sexy.

was macht pauly shore heute —Nichts

korean down syndrome — They call it “Up” syndrome in South Korea.  In the glorious paradise of North Korea there are no people with disabilities whatsoever.  They’re eaten.

promethean times ~ Hello!

cooking in your sauna ~ It can be done, but it’s not advised.

spiders living in tongue; spider lays eggs on face ~ Not true, sadly, but it’s nice to have something to believe in.

worst place to live in north korea ~ Well, it’s all pretty bad, but we heard that the intersection of Chigun and 47th Avenue is pretty rough.

westboro name origin ~ We told you a little about that.

"So I'm Thinking Of Starting A Church..."

white girls in black sororities ~ Actually, black sororities are in many ways like our rules for eating in bed: No Crackers!

lady mullet ~ It’s called a femullet, and it’s hella sexy.

naked nicknames ~ Smaktakula’s is ‘Tiny.’

crazy russian mathmatition ~ You’re talking about our pal, Grigori!

after the taliban took control of afghanistan, respect for women went downhill from there.  they are treate . . . ~ Sounds like you already know how the story comes out. What do you need us for?

fellatrix blog ~ We read it for a while, but found it hard to swallow.

fake testicles ~ Check these out!

baseball is big in China ~ Nothing’s all that big in China, except for Yao Ming, and he had to come to the States for a life worth a damn.

Oh Yeah, And This Monstrosity.

pedobear jackpot ~ It’s the first ten rows of a Justin Bieber show.

statistics ballet homosexuality ~ It’s somewhere around 95% (plus or minus 5%).

douchebaggery now a hairstyle ~ It has been for a while. Check this out. And this.

marijuana rectal cancer ~ It’s the sole cause, man!

dread hippy porn–We dread it too.

Yeah, We Know That Razors Weren't So Big In The Age Of Aquarius, But In The Age Of Hygiene, They Are. And Take A Shower While You're At It!

poems about mullets ~ I think that I shall never see/A Dude as hideous and sad as thee/Please cover your head with a paper bag/’Cause your freaky hair makes you look like a…doofus.

russell brand douchebag–We prefer Massengill brand douchebag.

appalachian pot-– The strain is created by cross-breeding it with itself.

i hate pork ~ Smaktakula does too.

camilla parker bolwes pretty–Pretty what?

Usually Powerful Men Like Prince Charles Opt To "Go Pretty" In Second Marriages.

victims of the stupid gene ~ More numerous than sand on the beach.

following vice prez who is next in line of succession the prez of us ~ Apparently the Founding Fathers didn’t think this through. According to the Constitution, in  the event that both the President and Vice-President are unable to serve, the Presidency goes to the  guy who owns the most horses.

nicknames for dick — What’s your name again?

was obama photographed with leeches on his face ~What?!? No.

dear camp female tramps ~ Tramps are dear to us as well.

vienna sausage creations ~ Well, speaking euphemistically–children.

showing his cock ~ ‘Tis a fine bantam you have there, sir–sure to win first prize at the County Fair.

people remembering the 60s — Are often tiresome.

Anti-Drug PSA's Would Be So Much More Effective If This Guy Was The Poster-Boy.

fbi warning negro—Clarence prefers to be called the FBI warning African-American.

testicles hanging off truck—That was one hell of an accident.

condoms for men with small penis~They’re called Little Richards, and they’re surprisingly comfortable. Or, that’s what we read in Consumer Reports anyway.

tina fey died ~ Haven’t we been through this?

im a nazi ~ Some Israeli gentlemen may be visiting later this evening.

fish vagina innuendos—Going to a party later tonight and need a line that will impress the ladies?

"Because Canned Tuna Is Too Expensive! Heh! Tuna? Anyone? Because Canned Tuna Is Too Expensive!..You People Wouldn't Know Funny If It Bit You On The Ass!"

***

Check out how these creepos found us!

  • Not What You Were Looking For?
  • Still Not What You Were Looking For?
  • Not What You Were Looking For, Episode III: The Search For Cock
  • Not What You Were Looking Four?

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

The Best Of Times

  • People Actually Believe That? Ramtha And The Lizard-Beasts Of Mt. Rainier
  • Step Dancing Is For Everybody?--Not So Fast, White Girls
  • Historical Figures With Unfortunate Nicknames: 'Black Dick' Howe
  • Belgians: The World's Most Evil People
  • Our Bad Thoughts

Dumb Stuff We Say On Twitter:

  • Teachable Moments prometheantimes.com/2015/10/15/tea… http://t.co/QFzhCOBHaO 7 years ago
  • The Garden-Destroying Cross-Lot Food Fight prometheantimes.com/2015/10/01/the… http://t.co/lY6IVUWzYV 7 years ago
  • My Beef With That One Guy From ‘Fast Times At Ridgemont High’ prometheantimes.com/2015/09/23/my-… http://t.co/izgO4yJppn 7 years ago
  • Shelly The Parasitic Yoko of Pervert Alley prometheantimes.com/2015/08/17/she… http://t.co/0svsAHygLs 7 years ago
  • Welcome To Pervert Alley prometheantimes.com/2015/07/31/wel… http://t.co/tvFvovXjTX 7 years ago
Follow @prometheantimes

Recent Times

  • Teachable Moments
  • The Garden-Destroying Cross-Lot Food Fight
  • My Beef With That One Guy From ‘Fast Times At Ridgemont High’
  • Shelly The Parasitic Yoko of Pervert Alley
  • Welcome To Pervert Alley
  • A Profoundly Philosophical Question
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part III
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part II
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part I
  • Headlines: In Which No Puppies Were Harmed Or Abducted
  • Profiles in Loutishness
  • Bet Your Bottom Dollar That Tomorrow
  • Mea Culpa: 55 Cent
  • Goat Mayo
  • Headlines: More News We Don’t Understand
  • The Aging Gunslinger
  • Hungarian Fone Kard
  • Fresh Socks For Homeless Walter
  • I’m An Ass, And I’m Sorry
  • Headlines: I Was A Caveman’s Love-Puppet
  • Untruth & Consequences: Debriefing
  • To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before
  • My Missing Medal
  • Promethean Times Questions Existence Of Sri Lanka
  • Headlines: Shaking And Stirred

WORD.

Adolf Hitler Afghanistan Africa anti-semitism bad parents Barack Obama Baseball bigotry Bill Clinton California Canada cannabis Celebrity Death Watch childish sexual innuendo China cocaine comical despots dope douchebaggery drugs famous for nothing fat people foolish choices fun with stereotypes gay people Germany gold digger grass headlines helpful hints hemp homosexuality hypocrisy impoverished third-world hellhole Iran Islam jackassery Japan Kim Jong-il LiLo Lindsay Lohan Los Angeles Dodgers marijuana Mexico Muammar al-Gaddafi mullets muslims North Korea outright lies places that suck pot racism reefer religious intolerance skankery skanks Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French Smaktakula's distrust of short people Smaktakula's hypocrisy can sometimes be astounding stupid people sweet sweet cheeba Tardsie's True-Ass Tales that trick never works the French this day in history treachery true meanings of holidays United Kingdom United States of America untalented stars weed Where Are They Now? Why am I so fat? Why am I so stupid? you got a real purty mouth

Promethean History

January 2023
M T W T F S S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Oct    

Search The Prometheosphere

Recent Comments

Vivek Golikeri on Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong…
Tim on People Actually Believe That?…
Anonymous on Commercials We Do Not Like: Me…
Dudley on Diff’rent Strokes Curse…
Anonymous on Commercials We Do Not Like: Me…
tomsimard on Sadly, Anne Heche Still L…
Smaktakula on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
David on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
Rackuzius on Brilliant, Dirty Weirdo Said T…
Smaktakula on Teachable Moments
Yoshihiko Motaro on Teachable Moments
Anonymous on Words Never To Use: N****…
Alex C on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
Usman Makhdoom on Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong…
Lary James on Untruth & Consequences: Do…

Tardsie D. Bagg

Smaktakula

Networked Blogs

NetworkedBlogs
Blog:
Promethean Times
Topics:
Satire, Irreverence, Snarkery
 
Follow my blog

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • Promethean Times
    • Join 459 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Promethean Times
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar