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Tag Archives: substance abuse

Sheen’s Latest Rampage Results In Institutionalization

28 Thursday Oct 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity, Crime, News

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Tags

anger issues, Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen is a drugged-out wifebeater, Charlie Sheen Will Never Escape The Brat Pack's Terrible Event Horizon, Charlie's 'O' face, cocaine, domestic abuse, domestic violence, drugs, hysterical screaming, overpaid performers, porn stars, psychological evaluation, substance abuse, untalented stars

By Smaktakula

Sheen's Latest Escapade Reportedly Involves A Naked Porn Star And Quite A Bit Of Screaming.

Charlie Sheen’s tenuous hold on sanity took another hit recently after a bizarre hotel incident found the notorious wife-beater institutionalized and forced to undergo a psychological evaluation.  Until this incident, Sheen’s most recent confinement had been an August rehab stint prompted by yet another domestic abuse accusation.

Sheen's Behavior Is Becoming Increasingly Erratic. Lately Sheen Has Claimed To Be 'Southside Pete,' A Tough-As-Nails Vietnam Vet Trying To Find His Way In A Country That Never Welcomed Him Back.

Although details are slowly emerging, Sheen’s latest cry for help is shrouded in mystery.  Like most of Sheen’s crimes, a woman is involved.  Surprisingly, she does not appear to have been the victim of any physical violence.  However, various accounts detail several recurring themes from the actor’s oeuvre: a hotel room, cocaine, booze, a naked skank, an improbable explanation and a delusional, screaming Sheen.

The Actor's Slow Descent Into Debauched Madness Used To Be Funny. It's Still Just As Funny, But Now Rather Sad, Too.

If Sheen’s increasingly irrational behavior hasn’t yet been a wake-up call for the studio enablers who have made him the highest paid actor on television, perhaps this latest episode will convey the message  that unless someone acts quickly and decisively, they’ll be left with One and a half Men.

Don't Be Alarmed. This Is Just Charlie's 'O' Face.

Colorado No Longer Among The Minority Of States Where Charlie Sheen Has No Criminal Record

20 Friday Aug 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity, Cinema, Crime, Culture, News

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

addiction, alcohol, Carlos Irwin Estevez, Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen is a drugged-out wifebeater, Charlie Sheen Will Never Escape The Brat Pack's Terrible Event Horizon, Colorado, domestic violence, douchebaggery, drug addiction, drugs, jackassery, laugh track, Look Who's Talking?, Max Headroom, Pauly Shore, rehab, substance abuse, tabloid headline, Three Men and a Baby, untalented stars, White Power

By Smaktakula

Cretinous tabloid headline Charlie Sheen is heading back to rehab at the court’s insistence.  Sheen is to spend thirty days at a rehabilitation facility, followed by thirty days of probation.  This makes it a full sixty days before he can go on a bender or backhand the woman he loves without automatically going back to jail.

Jenny Was Playing So Well, Too. It Was Such A Shame That She Had To Hit Herself In The Face With Her Racquet Five Times.

For a brief moment in the late 1980s and early 1990s, Sheen was thought to be on the verge of movie stardom.  This becomes somewhat more understandable when it is remembered that the same era gave us the Look Who’s Talking? and Three Men And A Baby franchises, Max Headroom and funnyman Pauly Shore.

Sheen is reportedly eager to serve out his time and get clean.  Following that, it’s expected he’ll return to doing what he does best: intoning shitty material that wouldn’t even be recognizable as an attempt at humor without the Pavlovian laugh track to squeeze some chuckles from the mouth-breathing audience.

His best shot at continued success is to stick to a simple formula: Don’t hit the bottle, don’t hit the wife.

Sheen, Seen Here At A White Power Rally, Has Shed Every Last Vestige Of The Human Being Named Carlos Estevez.

Celebrating 40 Years Of Hallucinogens In Baseball

14 Monday Jun 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Baseball, Culture, Drug Culture, Drugs, General Foolishness, History, Mythology, People, Sports

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

acid, Baseball, Dock Ellis, dose, drugs, fry, hallucinogens, I can see through time, LSD, lycergic acid diethylamide. LSD not LDS which is something very different, no-hitter, Pittsburgh Pirates, San Diego Padres, substance abuse, trippin' balls, tripping, trips

By Smaktakula

On June 12th, 1970, Dock Ellis of the Pittsburgh Pirates somehow managed to pitch a no-hitter while tripping his balls off on LSD.       

As with any such feat, the success is not due to Ellis alone.  Without his teammates’ stellar defense, this achievement would have been a longshot at best.       

According to Ellis, much of the credit for the victory must be accorded to the baseball, which provided invaluable aid by telling the frying hurler which pitches to throw.       

"With This No-Hitter, My Plan Is At Last Coming To Fruition. You Know What Must Happen Next. BURN THEM, DOCK! BURN THEM ALL!"

  

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