Category Archives: Sports

2010 Seattle Mariners Commercials

22 Monday Mar 2010

Posted by in Baseball, Commercials, Sports, Television

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Despite how it may appear, Ken Griffey Jr. and Ichiro Suzuki are not expressing the love which dare not speak its name–at least not explicitly.  This is just one of several amusing 2010 Seattle Mariners commercials (with bloopers):

For a while now the Seattle Mariners have been producing excellent commercials featuring both high production values and also a folksy, small-market vibe.

This year’s offerings include Cliff Lee as “The Man With Two First Names,” “The Bullpen Abomination” and “Griffey Chats With Ichiro.” 

If at least a few things go right for Seattle in 2010 (hopefully the news that peevish outfielder Milton Bradley has already been tossed twice in the preseason is not an omen of rough seas ahead), the Mariners look like they might be ready to challenge to challenge in the AL West.  With a little luck, the team’s commercials may not be the highlight of the 2010 season.

Smaktakula

Ron Washington Makes Requisite Cocaine Apology

19 Friday Mar 2010

Posted by in Baseball, Culture, Drug Culture, Drugs, General Foolishness, Health, People, Political Correctness, Scandal, Sports

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The Age of the Enforced Apology continues.                    

Texas Rangers Manager Ron Washington apologized for testing positive for cocaine last summer.  Our celebrity-obsessed society dictates that what would be an embarrassing episode for a private citizen, must become an excercise in self-flagellation for anyone who appears on television more than twice a year.  This is not only hypocritical and hurtful, but pointless.           

Our sympathies lie with Mr. Washington.  There is this bit of sticky business, however:                    

Washington said that he used the drug one time and it’s the only time he has used cocaine in his life.                    

Wha?  Who tries coke for the first time at 57 years old?  Really–who does that?  Ron, we’re on your side here, but don’t treat us like we’re idiots.                   

Ron Washington is not the only person associated with the Texas Rangers to have grappled with drug issues:                    

Player 2001-2003: Steroids

Player 1992-1994: Steroids & Probably More

Player 2001: Just About Everything

Owner 1989-1994: Alcohol & Cocaine

See If You Accept Ron’s Apology: Washington apologizes for cocaine use | MLB.com: News.               

 Smaktakula

Tiger’s Former Flame Thinks Someone Deserves A Second Chance

12 Friday Mar 2010

Posted by in Celebrity, Golf, News

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“I support him 100 percent,” said Irene Folstrom, who said she dated Woods in the mid-1990s when they were undergrads at Stanford University. “Of course, he was unfaithful and he has his faults, but he is really a good person.”

One possible interpretation:

You know that Teutonic slut can’t give you what I can.  Come back, Meal Ticket!

Irene Folstrom: A Fan Of Second Chances?

Does She Have A Chance At A Second Chance? Tiger Woods’s college girlfriend: He deserves another chance – CNN.com.

Smaktakula

Big League Stew: Torii Hunter Calls Black Latino Players Imposters

11 Thursday Mar 2010

Posted by in Baseball, Culture, General Foolishness, Political Correctness, Race, Sports, Television

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Torii Hunter’s comments about race in baseball are not typically this boneheaded.  “Boneheaded” is what we call it when a person of color says something like this.  “Racist” is what we call it when a white person says it.  

While participating in USA Today’s roundtable on the state of baseball, Hunter floated a theory that baseball uses dark-skinned players from countries like the Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico and Venezuela to give an appearance that it has more African-Americans playing the game than it really does. 

But, Hunter says in a controversial money quote, “they’re not us, they’re impostors.” 

No Imposter: Torii Hunter Is A For Reals Black Person

 Analysis of Torii’s Bonehead Moment Here: Torii Hunter believes black Latino players are ‘impostors’ – Big League Stew – MLB Blog – Yahoo! Sports. 

Smaktakula

ESPN: Public Input Period For Federal Fishery Strategy Has Ended

11 Thursday Mar 2010

Posted by in Constitutional Issues, Critters, Culture, National Events, National Politics, Politics, Sports

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It comes as something of a shock that an ESPN political piece arising from the world of sportfishing should arouse any controversy, let alone the amount it has.

Also notable is Executive Editor of ESPNOutdoors.com Steve Bowman’s pusillanimous missive reminding readers that this is an opinion piece.  Opinions–as people with ridiculously long titles already know, but you probably don’t–are subjective, and not stone-cold facts like those published in many of America’s fine newspapers.

Don’t Forget That’s It’s Just An Opinion When You Read: Public input period for federal fishery strategy has ended – ESPN.

Smaktakula

Milton Bradley’s 2010 Tune: It Ain’t Me, Babe

07 Sunday Mar 2010

Posted by in Baseball, People, Sports

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Several days ago Promethean Times opined optimistically on Milton Bradley’s coming year in Seattle.  While it’s still too early for hand-wringing, Bradley’s seeming inability to take any responsibility for the toxic situation in Chicago (and presumably San Diego, Los Angeles and Cleveland before that) is troubling.

Read In The Seattle PI About Milton Not Manning Up: Bradley: Blame Chicago for struggles, not me.

Smaktakula

Slain Wrestling Star’s Family Can Sue Hustler Over Nude Photos

04 Thursday Mar 2010

Posted by in Constitutional Issues, Crime, Drugs, Justice, National Events, Reality Television, Sports, Television

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Cretinous pornographer Larry Flynt’s publication, already an unlikely champion of the 1st Amendment, finds itself embroiled in another constitutional issue.

I’m no lawyer–you’ll have to decide for yourselves who’s in the right. 

What I do know is that if the pictures weren’t good enough to find their way into Flynt’s protien-plastered gash gallery before the unfortunate woman’s murder, a horrible death won’t make them any sexier.

Read the story that’s brimming with ick: Justices: Slain wrestling star’s family can sue Hustler over nude pics – CNN.com.

Smaktakula

Can The Pacific Northwest Cool Bradley?

25 Thursday Feb 2010

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By Smaktakula

Sir, I Beg To Differ

The unfortunately named and often irascible Milton Bradley is a Seattle Mariner, coming over from the Chicago Cubs in an offseason trade for the underperforming Carlos Silva.  This trade has a tremendous upside for both clubs, and for both players.  The Mariners and Cubs have each shed a player who had become a cancer on the clubhouse, as in Bradley’s case, or an overpaid bust like Silva.  For both players, the switch to a new team means a fresh start.    

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Easy, Tiger

18 Thursday Feb 2010

Posted by in Culture, General Foolishness, Golf, Sports

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By Smaktakula

According to his agent, golfing great Tiger Woods will be making a public apology on Friday, presumably for the behavior which derailed both his marriage and his golfing career.  The future prospects of Woods’ marriage are unclear, but those of his career aren’t.  Woods may have found himself with a bad lie, but given proper handling, he should be able to extricate himself.  Despite the hue and cry surrounding the holiday-season scandal, the public can be notoriously forgiving of athletes’ sexual peccadilloes.  As a sports culture, the PGA may be slower to forgive than would the NFL, NBA or MLB, where such a public sex scandal is hardly something new.  But given time, it will blow over.  

The Penitent Tiger

The upcoming apology should serve to expedite Woods’ public absolution, which is no doubt the purpose behind Friday’s planned flagellation.  When apologizing to more than one person, especially to thousands, even millions of people, there are two questions which must be answered either expressly or implicitly for the apology to mean anything.   

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