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Tag Archives: Brooklyn Dodgers

Frank McCourt: The Omegadouche

07 Thursday Jul 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity, News, Sport

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Baseball, Brooklyn Dodgers, Canadians don't play baseball, carpetbaggers, Delino DeShields, douchebaggery, Frank McCourt, Los Angeles Dodgers, MLB, Montreal Expos, Omegadouche, Pedro Martinez, short people, short people are plain evil!, Smaktakula's distrust of short people, worst trade ever

By Smaktakula

110% Evil.

Carpetbagging Bostonian Frank McCourt likes to live large.  Despite his complete lack of merit or any trace of human decency, the most recent owner of the Los Angeles Dodgers has managed to achieve superlativeness in at least one regard: very few individuals in the long and storied history of sporting douchebaggery have managed in such a short time to equal his astounding advancements in the field.

The improvident runt has brought financial ruin upon the Dodgers, universally regarded as the greatest franchise in the history of baseball, and perhaps in all of sport.  Making matters worse, his actions have almost certainly precipitated the team’s takeover by Major League Baseball, casting a century-old Los Angeles tradition* into the same Losers’ Club as the likes of the Montreal Expos.

To Better Understand The Comparison, Imagine That Your Bottled Water Was Secretly Replaced With Berry-Flavored Goat Piss.

Already ignominiously linked to the now-defunct Expos through one of the worst trades in franchise history, which occurred before McCourt’s  arrival on the scene, the Dodgers have now replaced them as the MLB’s poor relation.  For that, among so many heinous crimes, Frank McCourt is truly Lord of the Douches.

Delino DeShields Ended Up Being Pretty Good Too.

* Our readers are no doubt familiar with the revisionist historical claims of the so-called ‘Brooklyn School.’  That these spurious allegations are commonly accepted is bad enough; we will not dignify them further here.  ∞ T.

Step Dancing Is For Everybody?–Not So Fast, White Girls

21 Monday Jun 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Art, Culture, Games, Music, National Events, Political Correctness, Race, Relationships, Sports

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

affirmative action, African-Americans, bigotry, black sorority, Brooklyn Dodgers, bullying, cultural theft, diversity, evil bigots, exclusionary policy, hypocrisy, Jackie Robinson, liberal guilt, meritocracy, political pressure, prejudice, professional race baiters, quotas, racial shakedown, racism, racist, reverse racism, Sprite, step dance, Step Off, whining, white girls, White girls. Why did it have to be white girls?, white guilt, white sorority, Zeta Tau Alpha

By Smaktakula

The women of Zeta Tau Alpha made history recently when they were awarded first-place at Step Off, a prestigious step competition hosted by Sprite.  What makes this victory historic is that step dance, a synchronized dance routine typically performed by nine women, has long been exclusively an African-American tradition.   Zeta Tau Alpha is a white sorority.               

Critics of Zeta Tau Alpha’s victory say that this is just one of many instances in a long history of culture theft by whites.  Furthermore, these critics contend that while the art form’s exposure to a wider, multi-racial audience is certainly to be desired, the potential for non-black dancers to win is not.  It is an insult, they say, for a white sorority to be awarded first place.              

A brief explanation of the difference between white and black sororities.  White sororities, which by virtue of being white are more exclusionary, are open to women of all races, and include many African-Americans.  Black sororities, in an effort to preserve diversity, are exclusively African-American.              

The people who don’t want white girls in step dancing would like you to know that they are merely preserving their proud cultural heritage, and despite so many marked similarities, are not at all like the evil bigots who strove to keep Jackie Robinson out of the Major Leagues.           

WWJRD?

There was a great deal of grumbling over Zeta Tau Alpha’s victory, but the judges’ decision signalled that the art form was ready to embrace diversity and celebrate its coming-of-age in the wider culture.          

White Sororities Are Exclusionary

Black Sororities Promote Diversity

Despite the furor from groups who thought it wrong that a white sorority won, the judges stuck to their guns.  For a week.  Then they realized they’d made an unspecified scoring error of some sort and called it a tie.              

Critics of merit-based solutions hailed this as “a victory for all people who value equality and fairness above talent and hard work.  The squeaky wheel really does get the grease!”         

Bravo, ladies.

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