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Tag Archives: the Greatest Generation

Words We Live By

07 Friday Sep 2012

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Entertainment, History

≈ 24 Comments

Tags

America--Fuck Yeah!, Bob Dylan, Cormac McCarthy, Edgar Lee Masters, Friederich Nietzsche, Les Miserables, No Country For Old Men, Pearl Harbor, Primo Levi, quotations, Richard Adams, Salman Rushdie, Spoon River Anthology, Survival in Auschwitz, the Exodus, the Greatest Generation, The Ground Beneath Her Feet, The Reivers, Thus Spoke Zarathustra, Victor Hugo, Watership Down, William Faulkner, Winston Churchill, You Jivin' Me Turkey?

By Tardsie

You Won’t Find The Really Good Ones In Here.

We very much appreciate a piece of well-expressed wisdom. For this reason among so many others, we have continued to compile over the years a collection of quotations which not only inspire us, but inform the philosophy which has thus far guided us through a life which has been pretty damn awesome.

Taking our inspiration from Bad Brad, the eccentrically eclectic force behind You Jivin’ Me Turkey?, who never fails to find powerfully affecting–and largely unfamiliar–quotations, we’d like to start your weekend with some of the passages that figure most centrally in our own lives. And just as our lives are improved in some measure by the unexpected wisdom curated by folks like Brad, we hope that you will find something in what follows which speaks to your own journey. Have a great weekend, folks!

This Is An Actual Photo Of Brad. He Has A Condition Which Makes Him Look Like An Animated Character. Don’t Make Fun.

***

The Big Questions

For what is it all but being hatched,
And running about the yard,
To the day of the block?
Save that a man has an angel’s brain,
And sees the ax from the first!
Edgar Lee Masters

The Difference Between The Two Of You Is That You See The End Coming. So Why Not Live It The Best You Can?

The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved.
Victor Hugo

***

There Is No Ordinary Life

And like a dying star is every work of your virtue: its light is always still on its way and it wanders —  And when will light no longer be on its way?  Thus the light of your virtue is still on its way even when the work has been done.  Though it be forgotten and dead, the ray of its light still lives and wanders.  That your virtue is your self and not something foreign, a skin, a cloak, that is the truth from the foundation of your soul, you who are virtuous.
Friedreich Nietzsche

***

People don’t like being around despair.  Our tolerance for the truly hopeless, for those who are irremediably broken by life, is strictly limited.  The sob stories we like are the ones that end before we’re bored.  I understood that I had good and true friends in these three men, that it was all for one and one for all and these were my musketeers.  I also saw that I needed to behave better for their sakes.  I had become their nagging toothache, their dose of gut-rot, their ulcer.  I needed to get better before they decided to cure themselves of me.
If friendship is a fuel, the supply of it is not endless.
Salman Rushdie

***

I knew growing up that I wanted to do something different than anybody else.  I wanted to do something that no one else did or could do, and I wanted to do it better than anyone else had.  I didn’t know where that was going to lead me, but where it did lead me was to folk music at a time when it was totally off the radar screen.
Bob Dylan

***

Meeting Adversity

Defeat is one thing; disgrace is another.
Winston Churchill

The Main Reason Winston Churchill Was Able To Achieve Renown As One Of History’s Greatest Englishmen Was That He Was Half-American.

A gentleman can live through anything.  He faces anything.  A gentleman accepts the responsibility of his actions and bears the burden of their consequences, even when he did not himself instigate them but only acquiesced to them, didn’t say No though he knew he should.
William Faulkner

***

I’m determined to stand whether God will deliver me or not.
Bob Dylan

***

Strange, how in some way one always has the impression of being fortunate, how some chance happening, perhaps infinitesimal, stops us crossing the threshold of despair and allows us to live.
Primo Levi

So Buck Up, Pussy!

You Can’t Know Everything, And Why Would You Want To?

And Frith called after him, ‘El-ahrairah, your people cannot rule the world, for I will not have it so.  All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a Thousand Enemies, and wherever they catch you, they will kill you.  But first they must catch you, digger, listener, runner, prince with the swift warning.  Be cunning and full of tricks and your people will never be destroyed.’
Richard Adams

We Always Thought Watership Down Was About A Bunch Of Rabbits.

For My Grandfather, Who Lucked Out Of Pearl Harbor And Felt Like A Fraud For It

I didn’t know you could steal your own life.  And I didn’t know that it would bring you no more benefit than about anything else you might steal.  I think I done the best with it I knew how, but it still wasn’t mine.  It never has been.
Cormac McCarthy

We Know That Forgiving Yourself Was Never Going To Happen. Remember, Though–For Those Who Loved You, It Wasn’t A Betrayal But A Miracle.

And yes, we know the title of this post should more properly be written ‘The Words By Which We Live,’ but that sounds stuffy. Grammar nerd. ∞T.

Best of Headlines II

01 Wednesday Aug 2012

Posted by Smaktakula in Crime, Culture, History, News

≈ 20 Comments

Tags

anti-semitism, childish sexual innuendo, cockfighting, dolphins, dyslexia, Germany, Holocaust deniers, Iran, Nadya Suleman, Octomom, rape, San Francisco, Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French, Strait of Hormuz, the French, the French people's love of stinky things, the Greatest Generation, the Scots, US Navy, Why am I so fat?, Why am I so sensitive?

By Smaktakula

In which we present Part II of the Lost Headlines.

We’ll Try Not To Let It Go To Waste.

Look, if you want to waste your time reading the articles, more power to you. As for us, the headlines tell us all we really need to know.

***

The Upside of Dyslexia ~ There is no dog-bamn u9sibe!

Helping your parents stay out of the nursing home ~ It’s like we told our folks, by taking the necessary steps now, they can help THEMSELVES to ensure that their final years are not marked by the joyless isolation of the state-funded nursing home. A real good start would be to peel off some of that ‘retirement nest egg’ savings to cover Smaktakula’s gambling debts. We could use a little ‘walking around’ money, too.

‘Octomom’ Nadya Suleman’s doctor wants license restored ~ He’s not the first dude to impregnate a dangerously unstable welfare mom.

Male heart-attack victims seek help faster if married ~ Living for the sole purpose of making another human being’s life miserable is still a reason to live.

Don’t Burn Your Baby in the Oven ~ Make sure you set the timer for no more than 15-25 minutes so that it stays pink inside.

The Navy Is Depending on Dolphins to Keep the Strait of Hormuz Open ~ The Navy must be hurting for fresh ideas. Dolphins are the short-bus riders of aquatic mammals–how are those chirping attention-whores supposed to clear the Strait of Hormuz when they can’t even seem to avoid tuna nets?

Why Do You Suppose We Stick Them In Round Pools With No Sharp Edges?

One-Night Stand or Rape? ~ If you can’t satisfactorily answer that question on your own, maybe you shouldn’t drink so much.

User post: Am I just not meant to have friends? ~ Sorry, Sally So-Sad–but yours is a destiny characterized by unremitting isolation and pain. It probably feels better to know, huh?

Can’t Find Jeans That Fit? We Can Help ~ So can we. Lose weight.

FIFTH OF GERMANS HOLD SOME ANTI-SEMITIC VIEWS – STUDY ~ The Germans? Wow, it’s always the guys you least suspect.

Early Adversity, Adult Misery: How Small Events Trigger Depression ~ It’s true–every whiny bitch was once a whiny little bitch.

Europe’s debt could sink US ~ This is hardly the first time Europe has rung up a bill the US would be obliged to pay.

“Just As Your Corpses Once Stunk Up Our Beautiful Beaches, So Shall We Be Forever Stinky To You.”

The Bilingual Advantage ~ The big advantage is knowing when the help is talking about you.

Iran plot may signal ominous turn by regime ~Because heretofore those hostage-taking, Holocaust-denying lunatics have been pretty good neighbors.

The Cheapest People in America ~ Ha! Yeah, that’s who we were thinking, too. But no, it’s the Scots, apparently.

Online dating? Why no one wants you ~ Don’t feel bad; attraction is a matter of personal preference, and is influenced by myriad subjective factors. Remember, it’s not you who’s repellant, but rather your personality and physical appearance.

Today: Woman gives birth on N.J. train ~ As it happens, the child was conceived just two cars down.

Great White Sharks Off the Coast of Georgia? ~ Not out of the question–sharks like jerky, too.

Some Peaches Scream When You Eat ‘Em.

What Would ‘The Good Wife’ Do? ~ She’d make us a sandwich. What? You asked.

My Son and West Point — How Did Four Years Pass In the Blink of an Eye? ~ Sir, you’ve just awoken from a years-long coma following a grisly accident. We thought someone had already told you. Sorry.

How this strange African fruit is making Americans skinny. ~ The secret is tapeworms.

Toddler was victim of revenge shootings ~ Before you judge, we should let you know–he was a very bad boy.

Why Islamists Are Better Democrats ~ Because the Republicans have a ‘No Arabs’ policy.

Libyan militia accused of torturing to death ambassador to France ~ The ambassador repeatedly cried out “Mercy,” which as you know means ‘thank you’ in French, so in a way he was asking for it.

True Story: Many Years Ago, French Soldiers Stole Most Of The Few Remaining Possessions Owned By Tardsie’s Widowed Grandmother And Her Three Young Children. But In A Way, They Had Been Asking For It, Too.

What Happens When Autistic Kids Grow Up? ~ Frankly, we just don’t know, and we can’t afford to take that chance.

Putin faces off against an unlikely foe: Nakh-Nakh the pig ~ Nakh-Nakh! Who’s there? Nakh-Nakh! Who’s there? — Damn! This is comedy gold!

Oprah Winfrey signs off after 25 years in daytime talk TV ~ In unrelated news, Americans have seen a marked uptick in tidy homes, reversing a quarter-century trend.

Autopsy of 11-Year-Old Celina Cass Has Sad Results ~ We challenge you to find a child’s autopsy with happy results.

At 22, Tennessee woman is mom to 13 Ugandan children ~ Whore.

The Clash of Generations ~ If you find yourself matched up against “The Greatest Generation,” go for the hip–it’s their weak spot.

Don’t Let The Boring Stories About His Grandchildren Fool You. He’d Kill You And Your Family In A Heartbeat If Given Half The Chance.

Sword-Swallower Impales Himself on Stage ~ Although as yet there’s been no official confirmation on the weapon that caused the grisly accident, witnesses say that it was most likely some kind of ax or spear.

Cable car rear-ended near San Francisco Union Square ~ If you’re looking to get rear-ended, that’s a pretty good place for it.

Whitey’s influence felt on Beacon Hill ~Don’t be naive, fool! Whitey’s influence goes all the way to the top!

Having to think about the unthinkable ~ Is, by definition, impossible.

Man goes a year without money ~ It takes friends far less time to learn to hate that moocher’s fucking guts.

Police Bust Cockfighting Ring at Texas Children’s Party ~ You’re talking about chickens, right? Please tell us you’re talking about chickens.

Unfortunately, We’re Pretty Sure That’s Pork.

The next headlines you see will be all new!

Headlines 08.17.11

17 Wednesday Aug 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

abortion, Antichrist, binge drinking, Catholic Church, childish sexual innuendo, closeted celebrities, Delhi, Florida, gay people, Greece, headlines, India, Janet Reno, Justin Bieber, lesbians, Lesbos, Lottery tickets, marriage, Michelle Bachmann, NASA, Pope Benedict XVI, prostitution, Queen Latifah, San Francisco, smelly hair syndrome, the Greatest Generation, Tiny Tim, Twitter, ukeleles, Usher

By Smaktakula

. . . If You’re Going To San Francisco, You’re Going To Meet Some Gentle People There . . .


User post: Am I just not meant to have friends?
 ~ Sorry, sad-sack–but yours is a destiny characterized by unremitting isolation.  It probably feels better to know, huh?

Can Twitter Save NASA? ~ Don’t be a child; of course it can’t.

Mother Buried 15 Years Ago Found Alive in Florida ~ Florida in August is its own kind of death.

US women know July 10 is their day ~ Super.  Another important date for us to forget.

First Person: the Sweet Charms of the Ukulele ~ Just what drugs are you on, Tiny Tim?

The Ukulele’s Sole Function Is To Terrify Small Children.

Spectators shout “Killer!” as she leaves jail property ~ No one is sure what Janet Reno was doing there.

Black bear trapped in SLO neighborhood shot dead ~ Tensions are high, and polar bears are advised to stay home after dark.

Mormon leader jailed for life for sex with child brides ~ Life won’t change all that much.  There will still be plenty of sex, only now he’ll be someone else’s baby.

Bachmann’s Church Says the Pope is the Antichrist ~ Pfft.  We say that all the time.

Queen Latifah Says Gay Is the New Black ~ So is Queen Latifah finally admitting she’s, um, black?

Guess Which Greek Island The Ladies Will Be Visiting During Their Vacation?  No, It’s Not Crete Or Corfu. It’s Not Rhodes Or Andros, Either.

The Clash of Generations ~ If you find yourself matched up against ‘The Greatest Generation,’ go for the hips–they’re fragile.

9 things you shouldn’t say to your child ~  Curiously, they all start with ‘I should have gotten that abortion.’

Male heart-attack victims seek help faster if married ~ Living for the sole purpose of making another human being’s life miserable is still a reason to live.

Meet Europe’s record-breaking (and cute!) lottery winners ~ Being a lottery winner goes a long way toward making you cute.

Why My Father Hated India ~ We can give you 1.2 billion reasons.

‘Delhi’ Rhymes With ‘Smelly.’ It Should Rhyme With ‘God-Awful Stink.’

Despite priest’s dark past, he was given ample time to find new victims ~ Which is cool, because we believe in second chances.

83-Year-Old Gets Breast Implants to Keep Up With Kids ~ It’s a race to see who can commit the biggest affront to all that is decent and right.

Binge drinking ‘can damage memory skills’ in teen girls ~ It’s ‘judgement’ that teen boys want to affect.  Memory is just gravy.

Prostituted child leaves ‘game’ for good ~ We don’t believe it.  Justin Bieber loves showbiz too much.

“Thass Right, Just Two Bills For This Sweet Piece Of Ass.”

Police: Teen Killed Parents, Hid Bodies During House Party ~ Yeah, but that shit was off the hook!

The history of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ ~ It’s pretty gay, but we don’t like to talk about it.

California Bay Area Mansions Are in High Demand, Due to Tech Boom ~ Wait for the inevitable bust and snatch one up for a song.

What Is ‘Smelly Hair Syndrome? ~ Sounds like a childish euphemism for poontang, which itself is a childish euphemism for cooter.

And Now We See It Everywhere.

FURTHER EXAMPLES OF OUR IRRESPONSIBILITY:

  • Promethean Times Responds To The Headlines
  • Headlines II
  • Headlines III
  • Headlines IV
  • Headlines V
  • Headlines VI
  • Headlines VII

This Day In History: December 7, 1941 CE

07 Tuesday Dec 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in History, News

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

64-Bit Wars, a date which will live in infamy, Baby Boomers, December 7, Isoroku Yamamoto, Japan, Japanese Empire, Pearl Harbor, sneak attack, Surprise!, the Arizona, the Greatest Generation, this day in history, Tora! Tora! Tora!, Uncle Giuseppe, United States of America, US Navy, World War II

On which itchy trigger fingers within the Japanese Empire are at least a generation premature in precipitating a war with America, finding Greatest Generation Americans not to be the vacuous, lazy, self-indulgent whiners their children will become.

Forever Haunted By His Propaganda Work For The Japanese During The 64-Bit Wars And Ostracized By The Italian-American Community As An "Uncle Giuseppe," Mario Died A Broken, Highly-Pixelated Man.

So sorry . . . we come back later.

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