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~ A Collection of Oddities Calculated to Amuse, Enlighten and Horrify.

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Category Archives: Culture

Dare We Mix Seamen With Women?

24 Wednesday Feb 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Constitutional Issues, Culture, History, Military, National Events

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childish sexual innuendo, female submariners, females in combat, submariners, submarines, US Navy, women in combat

We’ll know soon enough.  The US Navy plans to allow women on submarines. 

Just Wild About Submarinettes.

Any undo concern about this development is unfounded.  Of course, any time you put men and women in such close quarters over an extended period of time, there’s bound to be some sex.  Still, even if sex between male and female submariners does occur, it’s likely to comprise only 20-30% of the onboard sexual activity at any given time.    

Not A Fan

Deep sea hanky-panky here: Navy says it is ready to end ban on women in submarines – CNN.com.

Smaktakula

Great American Pitchmen: Morris the Cat

22 Monday Feb 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Commercials, Critters, Culture, General Foolishness, Humor, Satire, Television

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9Lives, American Humane Society, Commercials, Morris the Cat, pitchmen

By Smaktakula

With his languid Ivy League accent, contemptuous eyes and tiger-orange fur, Morris the Cat was more than just Garfield’s funny uncle who never married–he was a television icon and considered the world’s first spokesfeline.              

Morris, like the Dalai Lama or the Buddha, is believed by his followers to be a transcendent being, reincarnating himself upon death.  Each incarnation of the Morrishead is designated by a number.  When referring to more than one incarnation, the term Morrisi is preferred.  The current incarnation, The Estimable and Right Honorable Morris XI, is the eleventh cat to hold the esteemed position.               

Poster From Morris V's Failed Presidential Bid

Little is known about the specific selection process for new incarnations of the Morris, but it is widely held that only cats adopted from shelters have the potential to achieve Morrishood.  Selecting the new Morris is a painstaking process, often taking several months.  Typically, once the new Morris has been selected, he must endure several more months of study and meditation are required before considered ready to meet the public.  A typical Morris is at least three years old before embarking on the grueling series of personal appearances and televised events which comprise many of the duties of the Morrisi.              

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A Godless Religion

19 Friday Feb 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Religion, Science, Uncategorized

≈ 4 Comments

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athiesm, athiestic fanatacism, Religion, religious fanatacism

 By Smaktakula

What is it about some atheists wanting so badly to debunk religion?  Refusing to believe in a higher power is fine, but I don’t understand the urge to pry other people from their faith.  If something makes people happy and helps them order their personal universe, what business is it of anyone else, even if the foundation of those beliefs are fallacy? 

Almost everyone has had that stomach-lurching experience of being trapped on a plane or in a three-day work conference with someone who, three seconds into the conversation, brings up the name of their diety, and then continues to do so while the listener squirms and frantically searches for a conversation-changer that never comes.  Not many people relish that conversation.  These fanatics, far from being the walking advertisement for their faith they no doubt believe themselves to be, turn away at least as many listeners as they attract.  Militant atheists are like this as well.  Like religious fanatics, these atheists know how best you should live your life, and what you should believe.  Religious and atheistic fanaticism share a trait common with most (if not all) forms of fanaticism, the castigation of those who hold heretical beliefs.

When someone is accosted by a religious fanatic, it can be unpleasant an unwanted.  Consider, however, that the fanatic, no matter how bizarre his or her beliefs, is in most cases, acting with what in other circumstances might be considered noble motives.  This person believes that the information he or she is sharing will save a life.  Does this justify an unwanted testimonial?  It does not.  I’m not sure it even mitigates it. 

Still, the point is worth considering, when you consider what benefit an atheist thinks he or she is imparting when debunking religious beliefs.  The atheist will tell you that he or she is freeing the deluded individual from the shackles of superstition and introducing him to the world of reason.  This idea is not entirely without merit.  However, as is true in so many cases, if the religious individual is happy with his or her faith and not actively doing harm to anyone else, attempting to undermine the foundation of this faith is cruel and unnecessary.  In this way, proselytizing atheists are like a sad little kid who’s found out that there really isn’t a Santa Claus and can’t wait to ruin the fun for everybody else.

Even Better Than The Real Thing?

18 Thursday Feb 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Constitutional Issues, Drug Culture, Drugs, General Foolishness, Health, National Events, National Politics, Science, Uncategorized

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cannabis, cheeba, China, drug legalization, drug war, drugs, genie, head shops, K2, marijuana, marjuana substitute, pot, reefer, Spice, sweet sweet cheeba, THC, weed

A new, artificial marijuana substitute, called among other things, “K2,”  is making the rounds.  And for right now, it’s legal.  Given that this stuff is made in China, a folk not known for their rigorous industrial standards, it’s probably best avoided.

A move is underway to criminalize this stuff.  Of course, if the real thing were decriminalized, K2 would disappear over night.

Smaktakula

Easy, Tiger

18 Thursday Feb 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, General Foolishness, Golf, Sports

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apology, Golf, hero worship, infidelity, PGA, role model, sex scandal, Tiger Woods

By Smaktakula

According to his agent, golfing great Tiger Woods will be making a public apology on Friday, presumably for the behavior which derailed both his marriage and his golfing career.  The future prospects of Woods’ marriage are unclear, but those of his career aren’t.  Woods may have found himself with a bad lie, but given proper handling, he should be able to extricate himself.  Despite the hue and cry surrounding the holiday-season scandal, the public can be notoriously forgiving of athletes’ sexual peccadilloes.  As a sports culture, the PGA may be slower to forgive than would the NFL, NBA or MLB, where such a public sex scandal is hardly something new.  But given time, it will blow over.  

The Penitent Tiger

The upcoming apology should serve to expedite Woods’ public absolution, which is no doubt the purpose behind Friday’s planned flagellation.  When apologizing to more than one person, especially to thousands, even millions of people, there are two questions which must be answered either expressly or implicitly for the apology to mean anything.   

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Mellencamp Mooted For Senate Bid

18 Thursday Feb 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Music, National Events, Politics, Regional Politics

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Democratic Party, Evan Bayh, Facebook, Indiana, John Mellencamp, United States Senate

No word from singer John Mellencamp yet, but activity on a Facebook page has spurred talk of a run for the senate seat soon to be left vacant by Evan Bayh.

Mellencamp is a great singer, and clearly cares about the causes with which he’s associated himself over the years.   However, despite having shilled for the Dems in the past, I’m not sure how what kind of reception the fuzzy, folksy populism Mellencamp espouses would receive within the lockstep confines of the current Democratic leadership.

Still, he has a great pedigree: like Cheney, he’s an irascible foul-mouth with a bad ticker, and like our current president, Mellencamp has frequently pledged to quit smoking, but has some trouble with his follow-through.

Smaktakula

To Love Us Is To Loathe Us

17 Wednesday Feb 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Constitutional Issues, Culture, General Foolishness, Political Correctness

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America-bashing, American self-loathing, arrogant Americans, Fox news, help wanted, Illinois

A help-wanted advertisement in Illinois suggests that “Arrogant Americans” might not be right for the job.  If any people other than Americans had been called out, this might be a big deal.

Has our tolerance for self-loathing metastasized so completely that someone posting this ad could even think this acceptable?

If you’re able to read, read it here, Yankee Imperialist: EXCLUSIVE: Help Wanted — ‘Arrogant Americans’ Need Not Apply – Local News | News Articles | National News | US News – FOXNews.com.

Smaktakula

A Nation Of Size

17 Wednesday Feb 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Food, General Foolishness, Health, National Events

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childhood obesity, Cop Out, Kevin Smith, Michelle Obama, nanny state, obesity, person of size, Zack and Miri Make a Porno

By Smaktakula

Two seemingly disparate news stories from last week are really two sides of the same coin.  These events appear different from one another in a number of respects.  One is national news, the other tabloid gossip.  One is provocative, and–as are all things political in the new era–controversial.  The other just a little sad.  Yet they both speak to how much recent attention the media has given to food and health issues, and in particular, to the “obesity epidemic.”      

A Hutt of Size

First was the announcement of Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” campaign, a war on childhood obesity.  The much-discussed initiative has well-intentioned aims, but it is difficult to see it as anything other than as an another indication that government is in the parenting business for good.  That the nation as a whole is becoming increasingly unhealthy is something upon which most Americans will agree.  Still, it is a testament to how seriously the problem is perceived by Americans, that a growing portion of the electorate apparently believes that the government knows best what’s in the interest of the children.  Haven’t we already been told that it takes a village?      

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Miss Me Yet? And By “Me,” I Mean The Point.

12 Friday Feb 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Art, Culture, General Foolishness, National Politics, Politics

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billboard, Bush, George W. Bush, I35, Interstate 35, Minnesota, miss me yet?, Wyoming

By Smaktakula

Most people have seen the image and read the story:      

The Zen Koan Of Our Times

The press quickly revealed that the advertisement was the work of a group of small business people,  apparently in protest against the current administration.  But for the short time the sign’s origins and intent were in doubt, it was possible to debate the greater meaning behind those three words.    

Was Bush, with his snarky grin and cocky stride, supposed to remind us of the divisive eight years that began the century, in effect telling us that things could be worse?  Or as it turned out, was it a snipe at the current administration by invoking time-softened nostalgia for the former president, still widely reviled in many quarters?   The Decider or the Divider?    

Given the polarized nature of political discourse today, it’s likely that many people are in no ways nuanced in their feelings on this issue.  When asked, “Miss Me Yet?” , they will no doubt respond in a loud affirmative or an equally bombastic negative.  But for a smaller group, the question eludes such pat answers.     

By nature, the news media couldn’t let the message speak for itself–or rather, speak to individual interpretation.  A mystery is an irritation for a journalist–a puzzle or riddle to be solved.  This compulsion is by all measures a good thing.   No one who values his or her liberty would have it any other way.  However, the greatest strength of the 4th estate, this need to untie knots, can have unfortunate side effects.  As in this instance, sometimes light kills the magic.    

For just a  short moment, with the curtain down and the inner workings still a mystery, this prosaic amalgamation of metal, paper and ink became something akin to art.  Then, in no time at all, the exotic mystery lifted up her veil and revealed to all the world what she was: plain old politics.   

Too bad.

They’ve Got The Wrong Man!

11 Thursday Feb 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Food, General Foolishness, Reality Television, Television

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Beau Macmillan, celebrity chef, Guy Fieri

When I saw the headline: Celebrity Chef Arrested, I knew–KNEW–it was gonna be THIS guy.

You got away this time, Guy Fieri.  But we’re watching you.

Smaktakula
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