Tag Archives: you got a real purty mouth

Actor Jeffrey Jones’ Interest In Underage Boys Is Touching

01 Thursday Jul 2010

Posted by in Constitutional Issues, Crime, Culture, General Foolishness, Hollywood, Justice, National Events, People, Prison Culture, Relationships, Scandal

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Actor and pederast Jeffrey Jones, featured in such modern classics as Howard the Duck and How High, has once again run afoul of the law.  Apparently, the in-demand actor has been so busy learning his lines, he sometimes forgets that he’s a voracious short eyes, constantly on the prowl for his next catamite.  This aberrant compulsion makes the talented thespian a very real danger to the community, and as such, Jones must register as a sex offender wherever he goes.     

Jones has now twice failed to do that.          

Is There A Single Detail About This Man That DOESN'T Scream "Run Away?"

Wanna Be In ‘Mom And Dad Save The World 2?’: ‘Ferris Bueller’ actor faces felony charge in LA.     

Smaktakula

Begin the healing by telling Facebook all about it

Lakers Come From Behind To Dominate Celtics After Three Quarters Of Furious Grappling

18 Friday Jun 2010

Posted by in Basketball, Culture, Games, General Foolishness, Mythology, National Events, Relationships, Sports, Television

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By Smaktakula

Last night the Boston Celtics and Los Angeles Lakers continued their great rivalry, coming together in a decisive game seven of the NBA finals.        

Fans have always responded to the passion engendered by these two teams.        

Athletes have often been compared to warriors.  Never was it more true than last night.  The players were so like the ancient Spartans or Athenians that you could practically see their greek forefathers hovering over their shoulders as the two teams grappled for four sweaty quarters.  They grunted and heaved as they wrestled for the sweat-slick ball, teeth bared in the straining, exultant agony of exertion.   This is the great beauty of the sport: the breathtaking juxtaposition between the animalistic abandon with which the game is played, and the delicate, almost sensual ball-handling of these gentle giants.       

When it was over, both teams had given it all they had, and left quite a bit of themselves on the glistening floor.  Ultimately, the Lakers came out on top, roughly coming from behind to stun the Celtics, who, with tears in their eyes, could only take it in the end.            

They Met As Enemies, But Became So Much More

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Dedicated to two very special Laker fans.

Ass-Craving Homophobic Minister Not A Hypocrite

11 Tuesday May 2010

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George Rekers, a Baptist minister known for his anti-gay stance, was recently photographed while vacationing with a male prostitute.

All A Huge Misunderstanding. He Only Rented This Boy To Help Him With Some Hard Packing.

On the surface this may appear to be hypocrisy of the lowest order.  However, supporters maintain that the closeted cleric’s actions are in keeping with Biblical teachings.

The First Epistle of RuPaul (from the SuperApocrypha, a portion of the Bible excised by the Roman Catholic Church in the 7th Century A.D.) settles the matter quite clearly, stating:

Go ye into all the world, and seek those whom I have made different.  Wherever such people are gathered, go unto them with fists and stones and with unkind words.  Let pass no opportunity to correct their sinful ways; let your rebuke be as the sting of the lash, for in shaming them you do them good.

Meanwhile, be ye a meth-snorting homo in secret.

Rekers is just one of many such “Sodomites For Christ.”  These saints save souls on the downlow, but don’t ever think they enjoy it.

IHateMyselfIHateMyselfIHateMyselfIHateMyself: Christian right leader George Rekers takes vacation with “rent boy” – Page 1 – News – Miami – Miami New Times.

Smaktakula

Archbishop Okay With Honor-Killings, But Draws The Line At Pedophilia

12 Monday Apr 2010

Posted by in Christianity, Crime, Culture, People, Political Correctness, Religion, Scandal, World Affairs

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By Smaktakula

Rowan Wilson, the Archbishop of Canterbury, maintains that the Catholic Church in Ireland has lost “all credibility” over the widespread allegations of abuse by the clergy.

However, the attention-seeking cleric’s credibility has been many times called into question over asinine comments such as his musings that some aspects of Sharia law be incorporated into British courts.

He's Anglican, Not Catholic--Parents Should Not Hesitate To Entrust Their Children To This Man

This Just In:  Apparently the Archbishop doesn’t draw the line at pedophilia–his Self-Righteousness has recanted his statements condemning the Catholic Church.

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Female Prison Guards Often Behind Sex Misconduct

18 Thursday Mar 2010

Posted by in Constitutional Issues, Crime, General Foolishness, Justice, Prison Culture, Relationships, Scandal

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You came for the headline, stay for the article.

This piece from Fox News is somewhat counterintuitive in that it alleges that female guards commit more sex acts with male inmates than do male guards with female inmates.

I know, right?

Perhaps even more compelling is the story of Michael Murphy, the Montana inmate who had sex with at least five prison employees, including his therapist.  Murphy told the ACLU that he had been sexually assaulted by the five women, demonstrating a phenomenal level of chutzpah in addition to his undeniable sexual magnetism. 

Promethean Times salutes Michael Murphy.  God speed, you magnificent bastard!

Michael Murphy (Artist's Conception)

Apparently Prison Sex Isn’t All About Getting Raped In The Shower: Female Prison Guards Often Behind Sex Misconduct – Local News Articles | National News | US News – FOXNews.com

Smaktakula