Corey Haim is dead at 38 of an apparent accidental drug overdose. Haim is best known for his work in movies, such as Lost Boys, Lucas and License to Drive. He also appeared in the reality show, The Two Coreys. This is a loss to the whole world, obviously, but especially to comedy. The Two Coreys (Haim and friend, Corey Feldman) were regarded by some as Generation X’s Bob Hope and Bing Crosby.
And with the Haimster gone, is there any Hope left?
Recently, allegations have been made that millions of dollars raised by Live Aid and intended for famine relief ended up in the hands of Ethiopian rebel groups. If true, these charges are disappointing, to say the least, if not terribly surprising.
Aregawi Berhe, the former military commander of the Tigrayan People’s Liberation Front (TPLF), claimed that of the $100 million that went through the rebels’ hands, 95 per cent was diverted to buy weapons or recruit Ethiopians to their cause. He said the rebels put on a “drama” to get their hands on the relief money. “The aid workers were fooled,” he said.
Why did it take a quarter of a century for this information to come to light?
In a related matter, Promethean Times is launching an investigation into allegations that Farm Aid donations were illegally channelled to John Deere executives to help fund their bloody and protracted war against Caterpillar.
While it’s true that most reasonable people would be horrified to be in any way associated with these E-Trade grotesqueries, it’s not clear that the use of the name “Lindsay” was intended to imply any connection with Ms. Lohan. The infant in the commercial could be any skank named Lindsay.
Team Lohan will no doubt respond with the trenchant counter that prior to Ms. Lohan’s use of the name, “Lindsay” was associated with virtue. Now the name is linked inextricably not only to skanks, but also to sluts, hos, tramps, ladies of easy virtue and the like. Ms. Lohan will therefore contend that any unflattering or mocking depiction of a “Lindsay” is a direct and intentional use of the former child-star’s image.
What Might Have Been
Regardless of the lawsuit’s outcome, there are already plenty of losers. A generation of young women looks up to Lindsay Lohan, and to those women–the skanks of tomorrow–this news will no doubt come as a heavy blow. But like the spunky strumpet they idolize, this junior varsity Jersey Shore will no doubt face the coming challenges with characteristic élan. Look for them and you will find them: lifting up their shirts for a stranger’s camera, dressing like hookers to piss off Daddy, and that old chestnut–getting a mammoth, butterfly design tramp stamp which reads CLASSY LASSY.
Lindsay may be down for the moment, but the Sisterhood of Skank soldiers on.
And apparently, the US isn’t part of it. Does the President know about this?
The Jerusalem Post says:
US VP meets Peres, says “since our administration came to power Iran is more isolated”; stresses “absolutely no space between Israel and US” where Israel’s security is concerned.
Amid a growing scandal involving an aide, Representative Eric Massa of New York announced last week that he would step down. The accused sex-pesterer and admitted user of salty language cited health reasons for his decision. In the days following, Massa has taken great pains to extinguish any chance he might have had–however remote–for an eventual return to politics.
If Being Salty Is Wrong, I Don't Want To Be Right
Massa claims he was backstabbed by the Democrats:
“Mine is now the deciding vote on the health care bill,” he said, “and this administration and this House leadership have said, quote-unquote, they will stop at nothing to pass this health care bill, and now they’ve gotten rid of me and it will pass. You connect the dots.”
While this is undoubtedly true, Promethean Times would regard the disgraced congressman’s plight with a more sympathetic eye if Massa had refrained from recounting this “salty” story:
“I am sitting there showering, naked as a jaybird, and here comes Rahm Emanuel, not even with a towel,” Mr. Massa said, adding that Mr. Emanuel poked “his finger in my chest, yelling at me at me because I wasn’t going to vote for the president’s budget.”
Rachel Abramowitz of the LA Timesawards Bullock the clunky-sounding honor of being “America’s Sweetheart of popular movies.” It’s true; just about everybody loves Sandra Bullock. She’s the spunky, sassy–but above all, sexy–girl next door with the heart of gold and the can-do attitude.
Among those who aren’t as keen on America’s Newest Sweetheart:
The classified report claims that in the preparatory discussions for the Israeli-Palestinian proximity talks the Obama administration adopted positions that are closer to Palestinian demands.
If the Israelis think that the current US administration’s pro-Palestinian bias is secret, maybe Moshe’s Eleven aren’t so clever after all.
Treasonous al Qaeda stooge and American washout Adam Gadahn, who performs under the stage name Azzam al-Amriki, was reported captured earlier today.
It’s now being reported that while an important al Qaeda figure was captured, it wasn’t Gadahn. The actual detainee may have closely resembled the American-born propagandist Gadahn, in which case the captured fighter is most likely a syphilitic frog.
I Sold Out My Country And All I Got For It Was This Lousy Tablecloth
Read about the hilarious identity mix up here and here.
Several days ago Promethean Timesopined optimistically on Milton Bradley’s coming year in Seattle. While it’s still too early for hand-wringing, Bradley’s seeming inability to take any responsibility for the toxic situation in Chicago (and presumably San Diego, Los Angeles and Cleveland before that) is troubling.
Promethean Times 