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Tag Archives: douchebaggery

George Sherrill Is A Douche

24 Thursday Jun 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Baseball, Crime, Games, General Foolishness, People, Sports

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

assclown, Baseball, douchebaggery, George Sherrill, liability, Los Angeles Dodgers, loser, relief pitcher, that shitty beard too!, The Brim Reaper

You might not know who this guy is . . .

And The Fact That You Have Two First Names--One Of 'Em Girly--Has Not Escaped Our Notice.

. . . but you’re gonna have to trust us.  This guy sweats douchebaggery from his pores.

Happy Thoughts For Today: Racking The Rev

28 Friday May 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity, Culture, Religion, Stupidity

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

bigotry, closeted homosexual, cocksucker, douchebaggery, even Jesus thinks Fred Phelps sucks, God Hates Fags, happy thoughts, homophobia, jackassery, judge not lest ye be judged, kick you in the nuts, rack 'em!, religious fanatacism, religious intolerance, Reverend Fred Phelps, sexual repression, that asshole who demonstrates at the funerals of soldiers, Westboro Baptist Church

Picture Reverend Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church getting kicked in the nuts. 

"God Hates FaYEAAAAAAARUGH!"

Have a great one!

Courtesy Tips You Need To Hear Right Now: Driving Tip #2

21 Friday May 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, General Foolishness, Relationships

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

courtesy tips, cretinous fuckery, dickheadedness, douchebaggery, Dress Barn, driving, holding up traffic, jackassery, lazy bastards, lot laggers, proper behavior, waiting for spot

By Smaktakula

Unless your doctor has given you one of these for your car . . .                    

      

. . .  Holding up traffic for no reason other than to ensure that Dress Barn remains within waddling distance makes you an asshole.              

Try parking in one of the dozens of empty spots by to Tire King.  Other drivers will appreciate your courtesy, regarding it as evidence you’ve renounced your former life of cretinous fuckery.             

Douche.                  

Die, Pustulant Lot Lagger, Die.

Also: Please review Tip #1.  You’re not doing it right.

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A-Rod Is A Douche

10 Monday May 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Baseball, Culture, Humor, People, Sports

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

A-Rod, ad hominem, Alex Rodriguez, douchebaggery, Gay-Rod, New York Yankees

The Douchebaggery Is Strong In This One

No special reason.  We just like to go ad hominem sometimes.

Pissing Away Money Is The New National Pastime

16 Friday Apr 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Baseball, Constitutional Issues, Culture, Drugs, General Foolishness, Health, National Events, Political Correctness, Politics, Sports, Television

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Barack Obama, Barry Bonds, Barry Obama, chaw, chewing tobacco, congress, dip, douchebaggery, government waste, grandstanding, Jerry Springer, MLB, National Pastime, pissing away money, profligate spending, Rep. Frank Pallone, smoking Obama, snuff, spit, tobacco

A Douche Against Dip: A Lot Like Jerry Springer, But With Less Dignity

  

Apparently taking to heart the concept of America spending its way out of recession, a NJ congressman is calling for a hearing regarding the use of tobacco Major League Baseball.         

Rep. Frank Pallone (D-N.J.), who helms the energy and commerce health subcommittee, said that the practice provides a poor example to young people who are baseball fans.         

 

The disastrous effect seeing a handful of athletes engage in a disgusting habit might have on America’s impressionable children aside, it’s not clear why the grandstanding representative thinks the government should have any say regarding the use of a legal product by adults.         

Now it might be different if the baseball players drew their salaries from the public dime, like this guy:       

No, I Said Barry BONDS Shouldn't Smoke.

Won’t Somebody Please Think Of The Children!?!: Congressman to hold hearing into baseball and chewing tobacco.

Promethean Times Heartily Regrets Giving Milton Bradley The Benefit Of The Doubt

12 Monday Apr 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Baseball, General Foolishness, People, Sports, Television

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

asshat, douchebaggery, flip off, flip the bird, middle finger, Milton Bradley, rude gesture, Seattle Mariners, Texas Fans, Texas Rangers, the Ballpark at Arlington, vulgar gesture

By Smaktakula
Seattle’s Milton Bradley gives the finger to Texas fans.
 
Who’s dumb enough to believe that an asshat like Milton Bradley could or would comport himself in a manner befitting a professional athlete?
 
Promethean Times, that’s who!
 
Thanks for making us look stupid, Milt.

I Am An Unrepentant Asshat

Yeah–Fuck you, too.

Charlie Sheen Believes Hookers And Booze Fall Magically From The Sky

02 Friday Apr 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Drugs, General Foolishness, Hollywood, People, Television

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

booze, Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen is a drugged-out wifebeater, debauchery, douchebaggery, drugs, hookers, misplaced artistic integrity, rehab, Richard Simmons, Sheen leaving, spousal abuse, three-time loser, Two and a Half Men, untalented stars

Why else would this three-time loser kill the cash cow by leaving his awful show?              

Good Luck, Chuck!

Industry insiders speculate that the volatile hack may have contracted a case of misplaced artistic integrity (MAI) during his most recent rehab stint.  Delusions are a common symptom of the MAI infection, which could lead Sheen to forget that his artistic range is roughly analagous to the distance Richard Simmons can throw a baseball.               

Ball Four.

 But unlike many of Sheen’s previous infections, this one won’t be fixed by a quick visit to a discreet Mexican doctor.  Charlie should know by now that performing in a cultural Mariana Trench like Two and a Half Men is a lot like being a professional manure wrestler.  You can leave the ring–but the shit still sticks to you.             

Think Charlie’s Best Moments Of Douchebag Idiocy Are Behind Him?  The Kid’s Still Got It: Charlie Sheen wants out of ‘Two and A Half Men’: Report | EW.com.           

Smaktakula

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Rhode Island Asshat Hangs President In Effigy

19 Friday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Constitutional Issues, Culture, General Foolishness, National Events, National Politics, Politics

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

asshat, Barack Obama, Central Falls, douchebaggery, fired teacher, Frances Gallo, fucknugget, George W. Bush, hate crime, jackassery, No Child Left Behind, president hanged in effigy, president hung in effigy, racist, Rhode Island, Rhode Island teacher, teachers, teachers union, The Elementary and Secondary Education Act

President Obama appears to like George W. Bush’s odious “No Child Left Behind,” a policy which for years now has been ensuring that No Child Gets Ahead.   A name change–“The Elementary And Secondary Education Act”–and a few tweaks, allow the current president to continue to revile the former chief executive while himself continuing those once-reviled policies (see also: Victory in Iraq, Obama and).

One fired Rhode Island teacher was particularly displeased with Obama’s education agenda.   And did this gentleman display his displeasure in a manner which would not only make his point, but do it in a gentle and poignant way, one hopefully which wouldn’t cast those opposed to Obameducation (formerly Bushedjumication) as fringey lunatics?

He did not.  He hanged the President in effigy.

He.  Hanged.  The.  President.  In.  Effigy.  That’s a great way to rally people to your cause– if the people you want to attract wear tinfoil over their heads and obsess about fluoridation.

Nice going, fucknugget.

Kudos to the Washington Post for not mentioning the words “racist” or “hate crime.”  They’ll most likely include them in tomorrow’s edition.

Check out this guy’s dickhead move: Obama effigy hung at RI school with fired teachers – washingtonpost.com.

Smaktakula

Walmart Likes To Kick ‘Em When They’re Down

18 Thursday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Corporate Culture, Drugs, General Foolishness, Health, Justice

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

brain cancer, corporate douchebaggery, corporate policy, cruel, dope, douchebaggery, ganja, heartless, inoperable cancer, Joseph Casias, marijuana, medical marijuana, pot, reefer, sinus cancer, sweet sweet cheeba, Wal-Mart, Wal-Mart is evil, Wal-Mart sucks, weed

Wal-Mart, never known for its benevolent business tactics or for treating its employees like human beings, has taken dickheadedness to new and exciting heights heretofore undreamed in the long and storied annals of corporate douchebaggery.

Joseph Casias was fired for violating Wal-Mart’s drug policy by using marijuana.

Was he toking up in the Wal-Mart?

No, it turned up in a blood test after he was injured at work.

Aha!  Well, cannabis use is against policy.

Mr. Casias used marijuana for medical reasons.

No doubt.   Did he get it for chronic insomnia?

Yeah, that–along with inoperable brain and sinus cancer.

. . .

A story so bathed in pathos would give almost pause to almost any other corporate juggernaut–even the most despicable and black-hearted.  But the Great Beast Wal-Mart is not simply any corporate juggernaut; it is an entity unto itself and unlike anything known to man.  Wal-Mart divested itself of compassion along with high prices a long time ago.  The only time pathos can expect notice from Wal-Mart is when it comes with a price tag.

Wal-Mart said it had no plans to rehire Mr. Casias, but that it wished him the very best, from the bottom of its black and kitten skull-encrusted heart.

Impressed By Wal-Mart's Indifference To Human Suffering

Never before has douchebaggery been offered at such  a low, low price: FOXNews.com – Wal-Mart ‘Sympathetic’ to Man Fired for Using Medical Pot, but Won’t Rehire Him.

Smaktakula

A Confederacy Of D-Bags

16 Tuesday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Crime, Culture, General Foolishness, Justice, National Events, National Politics, Politics, Scandal

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Andrew Young, Blago, Cheri Young, contempt of court, douchebaggery, Eliot Spitzer, Elizabeth Edwards, Game Change, Gary Hart, GQ photo spread, John Edwards, John Edwards sex tape, Judge Abraham Penn, National Enquirer, political leper, political pariah, Rielle Hunter, Rod Blagojevich, Spiro Agnew, superior court

By Smaktakula

Ex-John Edwards aide Andrew Young  has been ordered by Superior Court Judge Abraham Penn to return all copies of a sex tape allegedly made by Edwards and his mistress, Rielle Hunter.  Failing this, Young and his wife Cheri face jail for contempt of court.         

It’s hard to have sympathy for any of the players in this sad drama–certainly not the Youngs, who are accused of holding extra copies of the sex tape, nor for the ostensible victims, Edwards and Hunter.       

Edwards: Not Always A Political Leper

Edwards, who came close to capturing the vice presidency in 2004, has since then systematically shredded every last vestige of his reputation, and sent his once-promising political career spiralling wildly beyond Gary Hart territory, finally settling in the land of posterity’s bottom-feeders, featuring the likes of  Spiro Agnew and future Trivial Pursuit answers  Rod “Blago” Blagojevich and Eliot Spitzer.  According to Game Change, Edwards was so self-deluded even after being outed as Hunter’s babydaddy by a supermarket tabloid, the pretty North Carolinian was still angling to be Obama’s Attorney General.         

Edwards’ decision to make a sex tape with Hunter, let alone allowing it to fall out of his possession, is a course of action so decidedly reckless and even stupid that it begs the question: Did Edwards sabotage himself intentionally?         

It’s doubtful–Edwards appears to be divorced from reality.  What does remain open to debate is the question, to what degree?  Despite all the storms Edwards has weathered in the past two years, the former senator remains capable of Herculean feats of self-deception, even if increasingly he can’t fool much of anybody else.  Most recently, he’s taken his act to Haiti, vowing to help the Haitians as only John Edwards can.  Presumably, this means suing the manufacturers of faulty swimming pool pumps.  If this is the indeed the case, the Haitian swimming pool supply industry may need to apply for some of the international relief funds which continue to pour into Haiti: Edwards may be cheap, but his bill won’t be.         

Rielle Hunter might be the most interesting player in this drama, not only for her role as a future footnote in the annals of history, but also for both for many lives she’s lived– among them actress, a savvy videographer who could make YouTube work for political candidates, game-show contestant, fraud victim and the inspiration for a literary character.  Perhaps her ability to reinvent herself is what Edwards saw in her in the first place.  Like Hunter, Edwards is a chameleon, in which the search for identity is life’s meaning.         

Hunter is shedding her most recent skin for GQ.  Painted for so long as “the other woman,” Hunter wants to show the world the kind of wholesome gal she is.         

Hunter: Tasetful GQ "Spread"

 Young, Edwards’ former lickspittle and author of the recent political tell-all The Politician, wants us to know that he was a pawn in something beyond his ken.  Edwards was a Rasputin, Young would have us believe, and caught his innocent aide in the web of his machinations.  It was for those reasons–loyalty, esprit de corps, hero-worship–that Young humiliated his own family by claiming to be the father of Rielle Hunter’s child.  Sadder yet, it appears this deception fooled no one, except perhaps for Elizabeth Edwards.        

At first it seemed that Cheri Young’s only wrongdoing was exercising poor choice in agreeing to marry Andrew Young.  When most of the public knew that Edwards was almost certainly the father of Hunter’s child, it was still possible to pity the humiliated Cheri when her husband ridiculously claimed to be the father of  Hunter’s child.  With the potential contempt charges hanging over Cheri as well as her husband, it appears that the wronged wife has at least a little of the grifter in her.  In this, she’s found herself in welcome company.         

Young: Claims Not To Be A Sneering Ass

 Currently, the bizarre quartet comprising Edwards, Hunter and the Youngs is now split into two very distinct–and opposing–camps.  Promethean Times predicts that in a few short years, when the money’s run out and the notoriety isn’t enough even to keep the National Enquirer interested, what is now two will most likely be four.         

Elizabeth Edwards: Hard To Believe John Would Go Outside The Marriage For Sex

 

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