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Tag Archives: that shitty beard too!

Damn–George Sherrill Is Still Such A Colossal Douche It Isn’t Even Funny!

10 Tuesday Apr 2012

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Sport

≈ 34 Comments

Tags

Atlanta Braves, Baseball, douchebaggery, George Sherrill, incompetent boobery, Los Angeles Dodgers, San Francisco Giants, Seattle Mariners, Smaktakula's hatred of the San Francisco Giants, that shitty beard too!

By Smaktakula
George Sherrill

You Suck So Bad It Makes Our Faces Hurt.

Sorry southpaw suckass George Sherrill has returned to the West Coast, once again in a Mariners uniform. It is perhaps fitting that Seattle is picked by most experts to come in dead last in the American League West, so Sherrill’s dependable incompetence and area code-sized ERA should prove less an embarrassment than it would to a good team, such as the 2010 Dodgers, for whom he was able to demonstrate his shittiness in games which mattered.

And, although we need hardly point it out again, this home run deliveryman has two first names. And one of ’em’s girly.

George Currently Boasts A 27.00 ERA. This Means That Over The Course Of A Nine-Inning Game, You Could Expect To Score 27 Runs Off This Dead-Armed Douche.

He Was Actually Good For The 2011 Braves, Proving This Omegadouche Is Only A Suckass When He Wants To Be.

At Least This Era Of Incompetent Boobery Is Behind Us. The Dodgers Have Suffered Enough.

We Might Not Be So Down On This Cock-Knocker If He'd Just Chosen A More Fitting Team For Which To Suck.

That You Paid Money For The Thing Says Quite A Bit About You. That You Allowed The Moment To Be Captured In A Photograph Tells Us Everything Else We Need To Know.

In His Heart-Of-Hearts, George Knows He's A Douchebag.

George Sherrill: Same Douche, Different Hat

27 Friday May 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Sport

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Atlanta Braves, Baseball, douchebaggery, George Sherrill, incompetent boobery, lefties, Los Angeles Dodgers, relief pitchers, southpaws, that shitty beard too!, unreliable, YOU SUCK!

By Smaktakula

George Sherrill, the cretinous southpaw who douched it up for the Los Angeles Dodgers in 2010, posting a ghastly 6.69 ERA in 36 innings of ‘work,’ has taken his act to the Atlanta Braves.

This Massengill Maestro Is Queen Of Baseball Douchedom.

However, at some point in the off-season, the doubly first-named rectal wart seems to have rediscovered his competence, posting a 1-0 record with a decidedly un-shameful 2.19 ERA in 12 innings so far this season.  That makes him an even bigger douche than we ever thought possible.

Bonus: As further evidence of his douchebag bona fides, Sherrill has trademarked his moronic nickname, ‘The Brim Reaper.’

Still Not What You Were Looking For?

30 Friday Jul 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Art, Baseball, Cinema, Culture, Drug Culture, Drugs, Duh, General Foolishness, History, Hollywood, Humor, International Relations, National Politics, People, Places, Political Correctness, Sports, Television, World Affairs

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

'Lil Kim, Abigail Folger, America's ambivlence toward soccer, Barack Obama, Billie Joe Armstrong, Bush Brothers and Company, celebrity skin, Charles Manson, Chesley Sullenberger, Corey Haim, courtesy tips, cults, Dana Carvey, demon weed, dope, Duke, fauxhawk, Flower of American Skankhood, Frances Bean Cobain, Freddie Mercury, Garfield, George Sherrill, grammar, grass, Haimster, hippies, Improved Order of Red Men, internet pornography, Iran, Irene Folstrom, John Bobbit, Johnston's procedure, Kim Jong-il, lasagna, LiLo, Lindsay Lohan, Live Aid, Makwala Derrickson Hall, Manson Family, marijuana, marijuana legalization, Mensa, Mike Meyers, Morris the Cat, mullets, Nermal, North Korea, not what you were looking for?, Odie, Oxford ponce, Pakistan, penis, pervert, pot, prison food, Prometheus Society, Queen, racism, Ramtha, Randy Johnson, rapists, rave culture, raves, reefer, Reverend Fred Phelps, severed penis, skankery, Sully Sullenberger, sweet sweet cheeba, that shitty beard too!, the Big Unit, tiny penis, Tommy Lee, Tommy Lee's massive tool, treachery, untalented stars, US Airways Flight 1549, volcanic activity, volcanoes, vulgarity is the secret ingredient, Waco, Waco Massacre, Wal-Mart, Washington State, Westboro Baptist Church, Yelm

By Smaktakula

In which we once again present some of the various search-engine keywords used to find Promethean Times. Some, we suspect, were not on purpose.  See our first installment here: Not What You Were Looking For?.

live aid Geez, you put up one stupid Live Aid post, and suddenly you’ve got idiots knocking down your door for the rest of time.  Is Freddie Mercury really that beloved?  Thank you so much, Mike Meyers.  You too, Carvey.

humboldt promethean society Not sure if we can help you.  The Prometheus Society is club for freaks too smart for Mensa.  Smaktakula takes a dim view of organizations whose rigorous standards preclude his admission.  While there may in fact be many such individuals living in isolated cabins deep within the remote wilderness of Humboldt, these reclusive geniuses are no doubt so removed from society at large that they’re unlikely to turn up on an internet search.  Fortunately, anyone that smart knows to stay away from the demon weed, the great bane of the Humboldt.

narco children Frances Bean Cobain just wants to live a normal life.  Please try to respect that.

redman fraternal organization Right here.  Whites only, please.

criticism should 1549 “Sullenberger” We will tolerate no criticism of the heroic Captain Sullenberger.  The birds sent you, didn’t they?

wind up monkey Clang!  Clang!

underage boys blog We can’t help you, but thanks for checking.  Please remember to remain at least 500 feet from schools and city parks at all times.

america soccer ambivalence Happy to oblige.

bad mullet Is there any other kind?

when mullets attack We’re listening.

hell of a mullet Hell yeah!

skanky ho lindsay lohan Isn’t she, though?

raves should be illegal and banned Big Dittos, Rush!

old rainier brewery rave  Smaktakula may have attended one of these.  As a narc, of course.

will marijuana be legal in 2010 Not if Promethean Times has anything to say about it, Hippie!

ramtha volcanic eruption  We’ve got it.

ramtha marijuana Interesting.  Tell us more.

bush brothers & co new product New?  Treachery is as old as time itself.

passionate people and constructive crit Tell it to your diary, Nancy.

bull rider die And how!

waco massacre Dammit, Janet!

driving courtesy tips THANK YOU.

george sherrill beard—Yeah, we hate it too.

jesse sherrill senior rape trial 2010 You’re thinking of Jessie Sherrill, an accused rapist from Christian County, Kentucky.  We’ve got George Sherrill, whose late-inning incompetence doesn’t look half as bad when juxtaposed with a rapist.

kim jong il in united states Supposedly he’s in the United States secretly to buy DVDs and to fight female rapper ‘Lil Kim to the death over the use of the diminutive.  It is imperative that the United States Government not allow Kim to purchase those DVDs.

garfield the cat pitchman Fuck his fat lasagna-craving ass.  Promethean Times has never apologized for our Morrisist leanings and we never will.  Fuck Nermal and Odie, too.

haimster, 1971-2010 It still hurts.

pakastani home mad porn movies Ah!  A connoisseur!

irene folstrom Isn’t she the coffee heiress that the Manson kids chopped up?

mister wal mart He got laid off.

racism or cults in yelm wa Yelm really does offer a little something for everyone.

obama surprised Say Whaaaaaaaat?

sexy man cock Fred, just stop.  While we must admit we were initially flattered by your attention, your persistence has become a real turn-off.  The answer is no.

billie joe armstrong’s penis We hear it’s tiny.  Tommy Lee’s joint, however–now, that’s a penis.

johnston’s procedure penis A procedure to remedy “Torsion of the penis” which sounds pretty awful, and makes Smaktakula a bit of a dick for including it here.

north korean prison food Don’t be foolish.  There hasn’t been food in North Korea for years.

john bobbit penis + picture It’s in your bathroom above the sink.  Try looking at eye level.

have proven have proved Look, Smaktakula’s grammar is pretty goddamn good, but everybody makes mistakes.  You think this is easy?  You think it’s just talking like an Oxford ponce and liberally peppering the whole thing with vulgarities?  Okay, so maybe it is–but let’s see you try it, cock-knocker.  But then, we have an unfortunate tendency to over-analyze.

iran haircut policy Surprisingly progressive.

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Facebook Is Looking For Promethean Times As We Speak. Share This!

Update: George Sherrill

22 Thursday Jul 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Baseball, Crime, Culture, Games, General Foolishness, People, Sports, Television

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

coughing up runs, douchebaggery, George Sherrill, hypocrisy, idiot bloggers who take sports too seriously, incompetent boobery, jackassery, Los Angeles Dodgers, Major League Baseball, relief pitcher, that shitty beard too!, The Brim Reaper, YOU SUCK!

By Smaktakula

No change, folks–still a douche.      

By Blowing Two Games On Three Pitches, George Demonstrates His Rare Mastery Of Hyper-Efficient Incompetence.

Profiles In Suckery: ERA 7.48  IP 21.2  ER 18  BB 17  SO 12  BLSV 3*      

The difference between George Sherrill and a Little League second-stringer?  That shitty beard.    

We’ll keep you posted.     

* In baseball parlance, these statistics indicate Mr. Sherrill is in the midst of a particularly awful season.

George Sherrill Is A Douche

24 Thursday Jun 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Baseball, Crime, Games, General Foolishness, People, Sports

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

assclown, Baseball, douchebaggery, George Sherrill, liability, Los Angeles Dodgers, loser, relief pitcher, that shitty beard too!, The Brim Reaper

You might not know who this guy is . . .

And The Fact That You Have Two First Names--One Of 'Em Girly--Has Not Escaped Our Notice.

. . . but you’re gonna have to trust us.  This guy sweats douchebaggery from his pores.

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