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Tag Archives: incompetent boobery

Damn–George Sherrill Is Still Such A Colossal Douche It Isn’t Even Funny!

10 Tuesday Apr 2012

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Sport

≈ 34 Comments

Tags

Atlanta Braves, Baseball, douchebaggery, George Sherrill, incompetent boobery, Los Angeles Dodgers, San Francisco Giants, Seattle Mariners, Smaktakula's hatred of the San Francisco Giants, that shitty beard too!

By Smaktakula
George Sherrill

You Suck So Bad It Makes Our Faces Hurt.

Sorry southpaw suckass George Sherrill has returned to the West Coast, once again in a Mariners uniform. It is perhaps fitting that Seattle is picked by most experts to come in dead last in the American League West, so Sherrill’s dependable incompetence and area code-sized ERA should prove less an embarrassment than it would to a good team, such as the 2010 Dodgers, for whom he was able to demonstrate his shittiness in games which mattered.

And, although we need hardly point it out again, this home run deliveryman has two first names. And one of ’em’s girly.

George Currently Boasts A 27.00 ERA. This Means That Over The Course Of A Nine-Inning Game, You Could Expect To Score 27 Runs Off This Dead-Armed Douche.

He Was Actually Good For The 2011 Braves, Proving This Omegadouche Is Only A Suckass When He Wants To Be.

At Least This Era Of Incompetent Boobery Is Behind Us. The Dodgers Have Suffered Enough.

We Might Not Be So Down On This Cock-Knocker If He'd Just Chosen A More Fitting Team For Which To Suck.

That You Paid Money For The Thing Says Quite A Bit About You. That You Allowed The Moment To Be Captured In A Photograph Tells Us Everything Else We Need To Know.

In His Heart-Of-Hearts, George Knows He's A Douchebag.

TSA Employees Now More Hated Than Child Molesters

08 Friday Jul 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, News

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

bunglers, child molesters, clowns, creepy old perverts, douchebaggery, even Jesus thinks Fred Phelps sucks, groping, hated organizations, idiots, inappropriate activity, incompetent boobery, pederasts, pervertry, Reverend Fred Phelps, short eyes, Transportation Security Administration, TSA, Westboro Baptist Church

By Smaktakula

Ridiculously Low Pay And The Opportunity To Surreptitiously Grope Strangers Is A Surefire Way To Attract The Best And Brightest.

Given the several recent high-profile blunders by employees of the Transportation Security Administration, their already low standing in the community has plummeted even further, dropping their societal acceptance ratings below even sweaty, giggling child molesters, long regarded as society’s bottom-feeders.  TSA employees can take a dubious comfort in knowing that although they are the most reviled and lowest-paid drones in all of the transportation industry, excluding perhaps Bombay rickshaw-wallahs, the TSA is at least as well-regarded as are the screaming jackals of the Westboro Baptist Church.

"I Don't Care Much For The TSA, Myself."

Feel That The Total Lack Of Privacy And Myriad Degradations Of TSA Checkpoints Just Aren't Worth It.

"The TSA's Crude Recklessness Gives Honest Pervertry A Bad Name."

"Hey,--Don't Lump Us In With Those Assholes!"

George Sherrill: Same Douche, Different Hat

27 Friday May 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Sport

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Atlanta Braves, Baseball, douchebaggery, George Sherrill, incompetent boobery, lefties, Los Angeles Dodgers, relief pitchers, southpaws, that shitty beard too!, unreliable, YOU SUCK!

By Smaktakula

George Sherrill, the cretinous southpaw who douched it up for the Los Angeles Dodgers in 2010, posting a ghastly 6.69 ERA in 36 innings of ‘work,’ has taken his act to the Atlanta Braves.

This Massengill Maestro Is Queen Of Baseball Douchedom.

However, at some point in the off-season, the doubly first-named rectal wart seems to have rediscovered his competence, posting a 1-0 record with a decidedly un-shameful 2.19 ERA in 12 innings so far this season.  That makes him an even bigger douche than we ever thought possible.

Bonus: As further evidence of his douchebag bona fides, Sherrill has trademarked his moronic nickname, ‘The Brim Reaper.’

Not What You Were Looking Four?

07 Tuesday Sep 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, General Foolishness, Hollywood, People

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Anne Rice, Baby Boomers, bulls, Chesley Sullenberger, crazy bastard, David Arquette, dope, douchebaggery, Dr. Grigori Perelman, dreadlocks, Garfield, goring, grass, Great Moments In American Diplomacy, Guy Fieri, hairless hit factory, hemp, hippies, Hiroshima, incompetent boobery, Japan, Jeffrey Jones, John Wayne Bobbitt, Jon Lovitz, Justin Bieber, Kathy Ireland, Lorena Gallo Bobbitt, marijuana, Michael Steele, Mike Tyson, Mom and Dad Save the World, nasty blond dreadlocks, Olive Garden, pirates, pot, Ramtha, reefer, Richard Simmons, Saudi Arabia, sweet sweet cheeba, tattoos, Teri Garr, Wallace Shawn

By Smaktakula

Well what did you think we were gonna call it?  Not what you were looking for four? Imbecile.

Newer readers who are unfamiliar with our “Not What You Were Looking For?” series may wish to review our first three fabulous installments:

  • Not What You Were Looking For?
  • Still Not What You Were Looking For?
  • Not What You Were Looking For, Episode III: The Search For Cock

promethan times Wrong!

world’s worst latin mullet; russian mullet No one wins when the M Virus spreads.  At least Iran has taken precautions.

hiroshima august 6 2010 Nothing happened on that date. But 65 years earlier, the place was smokin’!

ohn and lorena bobbit Looks like that dick got sliced again.

drunk irishman shit self We’ll agree that No Line On The Horizon wasn’t U2’s finest effort.

ramtha crazy; ramtha full of shit Well which is it?

grigori perelman god proof No one is God proof–not even that crazy bastard.

bulls goring mouth Bulls gore with their horns.  They bite with their mouths.  Now you know.

sad “richard simmons” Sad?  But we thought gay was a synonym for ‘happy’?

smoking marijuana wisely It can’t be done.  Have you seen how those people dress?

promathan times Wrong!

penis fact 1952 Fact: The penis wasn’t even invented until 1955.

real garlfield cat We’re sorry that it falls upon us to tell you this, but we think you should know that Garfield isn’t real.  That’s right, he’s a cartoon character.  Douche.

live aid Live Aid did a lot of good for a lot of people.  Also, Freddy Mercury was a beloved performer who helped to put a human face to AIDS.

justin bieber sexy You’ll recall that we wished ill upon the hairless hit factory.  For sexy JB, this is more your bag.

lazy bastards on unemployment Now you’re just trying to stir up trouble.

hippie elderly people Sadly it’s true: the Baby Boomers are retiring.  They look forward to travel, spending time with their grandchildren, and self-indulgently sucking dry the nation’s financial marrow.

do dread make your head big In some instances it do.  If you blond, it make your head stupid.

pictures of black actor died Haven’t we already been through this?

how many californians smoke marijuana Too many of them.

prerry herd Is that dirty?  It sounds dirty.

saudi punishment The punishment is that the senior class won’t have a dance this year.  And they’ll all be flogged.

michael steele douchebaggery It was incompetent boobery, actually.

guy fieri pirate With that hair, we can definitely see it.  Or do you mean like a buccaneer-type pirate?

great moments in american diplomacy Here, Here and Here.

bull cow smiling Don’t trust that hermaphroditic bovine.

july 14, 1789 a.d. paris It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.  Feel free to start a novel with that line.

captain sullenberger wife beater Captain Sullenberger’s wife: backtalker.

author renounces catholicism And nobody noticed.

divorced happy photos We’re guessing you spend a great deal of time huddled in a corner, weeping.

commercials we hate olive garden That’s so weird–we hate those commercials, too!  Also Bush’s Original Baked Beans.

david arquette tats You’ll wish you hadn’t.  Sooner rather than later.

cast of mom and dad save the world It Features Jon Lovitz, Teri Garr, Kathy Ireland and the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard rendered into flesh and blood, Wallace Shawn.  Also this dangerous child molester.

mexican marijuana A lot like domestic marijuana except it works harder and costs less.

promethean times Right!

Update: George Sherrill

22 Thursday Jul 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Baseball, Crime, Culture, Games, General Foolishness, People, Sports, Television

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

coughing up runs, douchebaggery, George Sherrill, hypocrisy, idiot bloggers who take sports too seriously, incompetent boobery, jackassery, Los Angeles Dodgers, Major League Baseball, relief pitcher, that shitty beard too!, The Brim Reaper, YOU SUCK!

By Smaktakula

No change, folks–still a douche.      

By Blowing Two Games On Three Pitches, George Demonstrates His Rare Mastery Of Hyper-Efficient Incompetence.

Profiles In Suckery: ERA 7.48  IP 21.2  ER 18  BB 17  SO 12  BLSV 3*      

The difference between George Sherrill and a Little League second-stringer?  That shitty beard.    

We’ll keep you posted.     

* In baseball parlance, these statistics indicate Mr. Sherrill is in the midst of a particularly awful season.

Michael Steele: Cut And Run

02 Friday Jul 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Duh, General Foolishness, History, National Events, People, Politics, Terrorism

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Afghanistan, Barack Obama, black Republicans, blunder, douchebaggery, encephalitis is no laughing matter, George W. Bush, idiotic comments, incompetent boobery, jackassery, Michael Steele, Michael Steele is a boob, Republican National Committee, Republicans, RNC, war of Obama's choosing

By Smaktakula

Michael Steele’s impotent tenure as Chairman of the Republican National Committee has come to the sad end everyone has long expected.  Steele, who aside from being a black Republican is best known for his remarkably incompetent boobery, recently referred to the Afghan conflict as ‘a war of Obama’s choosing.’  This claim is absolutely true, if by Obama he means George W. Bush.  Otherwise, it’s pretty idiotic.    

But Steele wasn’t done: “This was not something that the United States had actively prosecuted or wanted to engage in,” he said.  This statement is also true, assuming that the “not” was a verbal typo.  If it wasn’t, this statement would sound moronic coming from an encephalic six-year-old.    

"Okay, We've Got Three Happy Meals, Two Milkshakes And An Apple Pie. Would You Care To Supersize It?"

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