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Category Archives: Duh

News Of The Duh: Hostile North Korea May Present Threat To Peace

31 Monday May 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Asia, Culture, Duh, International Relations, Military, People, Politics, Relationships, World Affairs

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

appeasement, batshit crazy, Cheonan, China, comical despots, Japan, Kim Jong-il, Kim Jong-il is batshit crazy, News of the Duh, North Korea, So Ronery, South Korea, Team America: World Police, torpedo attack

The Leaders of Japan, South Korea and China held a summit recently to discuss North Korea’s unprovoked torpedo attack on the South Korean vessel, the Cheonan.

Apparently, one objective of the summit was to determine whether North Korea’s action, which resulted in the Cheonan’s sinking and the loss of 46 sailors, was a threat to peace.

They determined that it was.

So Ronery? Ronery Rike A Fox!

See These Three Wise Men Try To Find Their Posteriors With Both Hands And A Flashlight: BBC News – Asian trio say Cheonan sinking is threat to peace.

Smaktakula

Wretched ‘Bachelorette’ Contestant Wishes He Had Just Said “I’m Prompt”

26 Wednesday May 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Duh, General Foolishness, Humor, People, Reality Television, Relationships, Social Networking, Television

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Cashew Dick, diarrhea of the mouth, early arrival, early finisher, humiliation on national TV, jackassery, laughingstock, loser, pathetic, premature ejaculation, Rolando Negrin, Shooter, Shooter McGavin, shut up you fool!, so sad, stop while you're ahead, The Bachelorette, TMI, wretched, your mother must be very proud

In a dark and slightly moist basement somewhere, Rolando “Cashew Dick” Negrin is jumping for joy.    The TSA worker and his stunted penis have done their time in the barrel, and are now free to slink off into blessed anonymity.  With a single request, “Shooter,” a contestant on TV’s The Bachelorette, catapulted himself from obscurity to become America’s newest and most exciting target of ridicule.   

“Ask me about my nickname,” Shooter urges the Bachelorette, hilariously ignorant of the humiliation tsunami he has set in motion, which comes crashing down upon him just a few minutes later.    

No, It's Not Because I'm A Good Golfer

Hey!  Wanna Hear Why They Call Me Guy Who Once Had Sex With A Chicken?  It’s Kinda Embarrassing: The Bachelorette Meets Shooter, the Man With the Saddest Nickname Backstory Ever — Vulture.

Courtesy Tips You Need To Hear Right Now: Driving

15 Thursday Apr 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Duh, General Foolishness, National Events

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

courtesy tips, dickheadedness, driving, jackassery, proper behavior, slow assholes in the left lane

By Smaktakula

Tip 1: If cars are passing you on the right*, it’s high time you stop being such a jackass and move the fuck over.  Thanks.

*For drivers living in freakish, left-lane driving countries such as the UK, New Zealand or Australia may wish to reverse these directions, as well as to add a superfluous U or E here and there to the correctly spelled American words.

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Reuters Wants You To Know That U.S. Children Turn To Inhaling To Get High

12 Friday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Crime, Drug Culture, Drugs, Duh, General Foolishness, Health, National Events

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

aerosols, choking game, fainting game, genie, getting high, household products, huffing, inhalants, Jenkem, K2, media scare, Reuters, Rocket Ride, sensationalist media, sniffing, solvent, Spice, urban legends, vapors

And Reuters is turning to sensationalism to sell ad space.  

The illicit inhalation of household products, or huffing, can have profound and disastrous effects on users.  It is axiomatic that this message be reinforced among young people, the group most likely to begin abusing inhalants.  Reminding the public about the danger posed by inhalants is a laudable endeavor, but sounding the alarm for its own sake is foolish.     

Are more children using inhalants now?     

The rate of inhalant use of that age has remained steady over the past few years, but officials are concerned that young people increasingly do not see abusing inhalants as risky.     

Oh.  Inhalant abuse hasn’t increased among children, it’s just that officials are worried about it.  Apparently, Reuters thinks you should be worried too.  Just like with Jenkem, K2 and the Choking Game.   

Could This Be Your Child? You Bet It Could!

 

Even As You Read This Your Children Are Huffing!: U.S. children turn to inhaling to get high: study | Reuters. 

Smaktakula

Haaretz: Secret Israeli Report: U.S. Is Cozying Up To Palestinians

08 Monday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Duh, Middle East, Politics, Terrorism, World Affairs

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Fatah, George Mitchell, Haaretz, Hamas, Intifada, Israel, Israeli-Palestinian proximity talks, Middle East, Obama Administration, Palestine, Palestinian statehood, pro-Palestinian bias, secret Israeli report, United States of America, US Mideast Envoy

The devil you say!

The classified report claims that in the preparatory discussions for the Israeli-Palestinian proximity talks the Obama administration adopted positions that are closer to Palestinian demands.

If the Israelis think that the current US administration’s pro-Palestinian bias is secret, maybe Moshe’s Eleven aren’t so clever after all.

Read the shocking revelations regarding this abrupt about-face in US foreign policy: Secret Israeli report: U.S. is cozying up to Palestinians – Haaretz – Israel News.

Smaktakula

FAA: Underage Air Traffic Controllers Not Such A Hot Idea

04 Thursday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Crime, Duh, General Foolishness, National Events, Satire

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

air traffic control, air traffic controller, airline disaster, airplane, America's youth, American Youth, child labor, child soldiers, children in tower, commercial airlines, exclusionary policy, FAA, Federal Avaiation Administration, John F. Kennedy International Airport, suspend controller, underage air traffic controller

By Smaktakula   

A recent incident involving a young boy directing flights at John F. Kennedy International Airport has created a media-wide sensation.  The affair has resulted in the suspensions of an air traffic controller and his superior, as well as forcing the Federal Aviation Administration to clarify its position on minor-age controllers.  The FAA now maintains that children, no matter how precocious, presentable or well-mannered, do not possess the requisite skills to successfully perform the duties of an air traffic controller. 

This is particularly upsetting to Americans under eighteen years old, who currently comprise about a quarter of the US Population.   After wading through a century of aviation journalism, Promethean Times was unable to find even a single example of an underage controller contributing in any way to an airfield catastrophe.  Despite this marked lack of evidence, the FAA is standing by its exclusionary policy. 

Contrast the sterling service record of the young controllers with that of their franchise-age counterparts.  Aviation history is replete with dozens of disasters easily avoided if not for the actions of a careless–and adult– air traffic controller.  This disparity is both obvious and unfair, and yet no one talks about it.  

Judge Me By My Character, Not My Age

It’s tempting to say, “It’s just the air traffic controllers–my child isn’t an air traffic controller.”  Yes, today it is only the minor-age air traffic controllers.  But can we afford to trust that the rapacious demands of the safety cabal will be satisfied by the sacrifice of a single industry?   How long until those sinister eyes turn upon another vocation they deem unsafe?    Imagine a world which requires that emergency room anesthesiologists be adults.  Where the youngest commercial airline pilots are in their late twenties.  Where Alaskan crab boats do not ring out with the laughing voices of children.  Where firefighters and police officers are old enough to shave. 

Sound ridiculous?  It’s closer than you think. 

America long-ago ceded dominance of the child-soldier industry to more lightly regulated outfits in Africa, Southeast Asia and parts of Latin America.   Today, another industry has shut its doors to America’s children.  Societal prejudices against minors is on the increase, giving rise to barriers which effectively prevent most children from taking dangerous or high stress jobs for as many as eighteen years.  Because of this America’s youth are struggling to compete with their above-eighteen contemporaries.   It is a national tragedy that we should even be discussing these things in the supposedly enlightened 21st Century.  Our children deserve better.

MSNBC: Not Afraid To Ask Ridiculous Questions

27 Saturday Feb 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Asia, Duh, Science, World Affairs

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

carbon footprint, Chile earthquake, climate alarmism, climate change, earthquake, fault zone, faultline, global warming, Hawaii, man-made disaster, MSNBC, nature out of control, Pacific Ocean, Ring of Fire, science fiction, subduction zone, temblor, tsunami, U.S. Geological Survey

In the throes of a humanitarian crisis, it’s always important to ask ridiculous questions. 

Posits MSNBC: Is Nature Out Of Control? 

A better question would be: Has nature ever been subject to human control?  Only in science fiction. 

Dur

Grapple with life’s Big Questions with MSNBC: Big quake question: Is nature out of control? – LiveScience- msnbc.com. 

Smaktakula
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