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Tag Archives: huffing

Mr. Popcorn

24 Friday Sep 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Science, Stupidity

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

death by popcorn, diacetyl, diacetyl-induced bronchiolitis obliterans, Dr. Cecile Rose, fat people, huffing, huffing corn, microwave popcorn, Mr. Popcorn, popcorn, popcorn disease, Popcorn Worker's Lung, stupidity, sweet sweet maize, toxins, Why am I so fat?

By Smaktakula

If you’re one of the millions of people around the world who love the smell of buttery popcorn, then you owe a great deal of thanks to an unnamed Colorado man who learned a very hard lesson on your behalf.

Popcorn: It Would Be Called 'The Silent Killer' If Not For That Loud Popping Sound It Makes.

Around 2007, the man went to his doctor complaining of breathing difficulties.  Tests revealed extensive lung damage of a kind typically exhibited by workers in industrial or agricultural facilities.  The man’s ailment was initially a mystery, and a variety of theories were put forth and discarded until finally the culprit was identified.

This man liked microwave popcorn.  He liked it a lot.  The man confessed to the doctors that he’d eaten at least two bags a day for at least a decade.  The Colorado man said of himself, “I am Mr. Popcorn. I love popcorn.” Unsurprisingly, he was overweight.

Lest any popcorn-chawing members of the Cadre Promethean worry, it wasn’t the eating of microwave popcorn that proved to be Mr. Popcorn’s nemesis.  No, he loved the rich buttery smell of the sweet, sweet maize so much that he would put his face into the bag like a horse with its feed and inhale deeply before eating.

Corn Huffing Is Cool At First, But It Quickly Becomes Your Life.

At the time, most brands of microwave popcorn contained diacetyl, a chemical which adds extra yumminess to the buttery flavor.  However, diacetyl is toxic when inhaled, leading to diacetyl-induced bronchiolitis obliterans, known more simply by the much-cooler term “Popcorn Worker’s Lung.”  Mr. Popcorn had managed to contract a disease heretofore only known in the popcorn industry.

It is difficult to imagine what Mr. Popcorn must be going through.  But according to one of the physicians who worked with him, Dr. Cecile Rose, his debilitating condition was the furthest thing from his mind.  As always, he was focused on the hot, buttery goodness of exploded corn kernels.  Said Dr. Rose, “He was really upset that he couldn’t have it anymore.”

"A Day Without Popcorn Is A Day Without Sunshine."

Sweet Lady Meg

05 Thursday Aug 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Drug Culture, Drugs, General Foolishness, National Events, Prison Culture

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

a date with Margaret, cheap thrills, dancing with Meg, druggies, drugs, drugs you didn't know were drugs, hallucinogens, hopheads, huffing, inhalants, instant gratification, legal drugs, Margaret, marijuana, Meg, megheads, nutmeg, psychoactive drugs, Robitoastin', Robitussin DM, spice rack highs, stoners, sweet lady meg, The Autobiography of Malcolm X, the Spice, trippin' balls, tripping, wastrels

By Smaktakula

In years past, degenerate types seeking a new high would have to work for it.  Forced either to rely on the often-dubious advice of older siblings or else trust their luck to trial and error, this avenue of experimentation was open only to the most jaded wastrel.             

Moreover, these methods also helped to maintain society’s delicate equilibrium, relying upon natural selection to thin out the ranks of these cognonauts.  A great many burnouts had to suffer exquisitely painful deaths before one finally stuck his tongue to the correct toad.

The Toad's Conundrum: Are You Tripping Balls Or Dying Horribly From Neurotoxic Shock?

Thanks to the pernicious influence of the Internet, even good kids can fall victim to the allure of instant gratification and readily attainable thrills.  Much has been made of huffing, and the deadly highs which beckon from the colorful bottles under the sink.                

But while America’s attention is diverted by the lurid dangers of Pine-Sol, who’s watching the spice rack?               

The Brown Lady: The Love She Offers Is Only An Illusion; Her Heart Is Black And Full Of Nutmeg.

Thanks to the ubiquity of instant media, today’s would-be druggie is no longer likely to be a college sophomore reading  The Autobiography of Malcom X the first time he discovers the hidden threat in every home.  Nutmeg is an hallucinogen.              

Sometimes referred to as ‘the Spice,’ ‘Margaret,’ ‘Sweet Lady Meg,’ or just ‘Meg,’ nutmeg can induce hallucinations if taken in sufficient quantities.  However, most law enforcement organizations don’t consider it much of a threat, citing its  low-energy, long-delayed high, and noting that Meg’s effects are best experienced in conjunction with other psychoactive drugs, such as marijuana. 

“Plus,” says ‘Eric,’ a sixteen-year old Meghead, “It tastes like ass.”              

0.2 Oz Indonesian Fine. Street Value: $3.65

Despite nutmeg’s relatively low popularity as a recreational drug, some parents feel it puts at risk America’s most vulnerable children: those too incompetent or lazy to shoplift a bottle of Robitussin DM from Rite-Aid.

Not What You Were Looking For?

07 Wednesday Jul 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Cinema, Crime, Critters, Culture, Drug Culture, General Foolishness, Hollywood, Humor, Movies, People, Race, Relationships, Television, Terrorism, World Affairs

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

asshat, backwater shithole, Baseball, brilliant dirty weirdos, Bush 41, Charlie Estevez, Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen is a drugged-out wifebeater, Charlie Sheen Will Never Escape The Brat Pack's Terrible Event Horizon, choking game, comical despots, Confucius, cooze, crazy bastard, Dear Leader, Dr. Grigori Perelman, dwarf, Gary Coleman, George Bush Sr., George Herbert Walker Bush, hemp, herpes, hippies, huffing, India, Jackpot, K2, Kim Jong-il, lactating, lesbians, LiLo, Lindsay Lohan, marijuana, midget, Milton Bradley, Milton Bradley is batshit crazy, Morris the Cat, Nevada, not what you were looking for?, pot, reefer, Shannon Price, small black actor, sniper, Somali pirates, sweet sweet cheeba, Thinksquad, Wal-Mart, Wal-Mart is evil, weed, Wikipedia, your mother must be very proud, Zen koan

By Smaktakula

We would like to believe that of the nearly 800,000 hits* Promethean Times receives daily, each is a reader who set out specifically to find us.  Of course, this is sometimes not the case.

Here are some of the keywords (noted by boldface) used by folks whom we suspect–and in one or two cases, hope–found us by accident.

small black actor died We can do that.

gary coleman death pictures He was a beautiful human being, and now he’s gone.  What the hell is wrong with you people?

lindsay lohan child pics We’re hoping you mean stills from her films.  We can help you here and here.  But if that’s not what you mean, maybe this is more your speed, Creepo.

Morris the Cat baseball We couldn’t help this guy out, but we’re just glad somebody read Smaktakula’s piece on Morris.

K2 We can do that.

huffing And that.

choking game That too.

somali pirates We can do that.

freshy somalis Um.

backwater shithole We can do that.

proud herpes There’s a proud kind?  Damn.  Smaktakula  kinda wishes he hadn’t rushed out and bought the shameful kind.

difference between a midget and a dwarf You got us.  Try Wikipedia, Asshat.

bush pukes on japanese We can do that.

lesbian lactating Ew.  We don’t do that.  Please return to the fetid basement apartment from which you came.

kim jong il sad Try Thinksquad.  Those crazy bastards are fucking with the Dear Leader as we speak.

dirty russian Hmm.  Hope you were looking for our pal, Grigori.

shannon price evil And a cooze!

pictures mexican children No, however we are in possession of some awesome nude shots of your mom.  Inquire for purchase.

what are the pathos at walmart Damn, Confucius, we could meditate on that Zen koan for years.  In the meantime, try this.

fuck off marijuana Indeed. And take the hippies with you!

charlie sheen first amendment It’s true that Mr. Sheen is a first-rate legal scholar, but we examine other aspects of the Sheen Mystique here and here.

is milton bradley crazy Yes, he is.

giant playground-mcdonalds Were we able to help you?

indian sniper We can do that.

man fuck a horse Your mother must be very proud.

*Note: This figure may not correspond with reality.

Reuters Wants You To Know That U.S. Children Turn To Inhaling To Get High

12 Friday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Crime, Drug Culture, Drugs, Duh, General Foolishness, Health, National Events

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

aerosols, choking game, fainting game, genie, getting high, household products, huffing, inhalants, Jenkem, K2, media scare, Reuters, Rocket Ride, sensationalist media, sniffing, solvent, Spice, urban legends, vapors

And Reuters is turning to sensationalism to sell ad space.  

The illicit inhalation of household products, or huffing, can have profound and disastrous effects on users.  It is axiomatic that this message be reinforced among young people, the group most likely to begin abusing inhalants.  Reminding the public about the danger posed by inhalants is a laudable endeavor, but sounding the alarm for its own sake is foolish.     

Are more children using inhalants now?     

The rate of inhalant use of that age has remained steady over the past few years, but officials are concerned that young people increasingly do not see abusing inhalants as risky.     

Oh.  Inhalant abuse hasn’t increased among children, it’s just that officials are worried about it.  Apparently, Reuters thinks you should be worried too.  Just like with Jenkem, K2 and the Choking Game.   

Could This Be Your Child? You Bet It Could!

 

Even As You Read This Your Children Are Huffing!: U.S. children turn to inhaling to get high: study | Reuters. 

Smaktakula

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