Tags
appeasement, aquatic mammals, Does Nature Want You Dead? Yes It Does., dolphins, Florida, gill nets, killer whale, orca, Sea World, Shamu, terrestrial mammals, Tilikum, tuna, whales
By Smaktakula
Yesterday in Florida, the interminable cold war between Terrestrial and Aquatic mammals turned hot once again. The Aquatics’ attack was unexpected and savage. When it was through, a veteran animal handler was dead. Early reports indicate that the assassin was Tilikum, an orca. Terrestrial representatives claim that Tilikum is a high-ranking member of the elite SHAMU (Secret Herald of the Aquatic Mammal Underground) Brigade, sent to bring a bloody message to the bipeds.
Tilikum has a checkered history, and at least one run-in with the law. Although the claims have yet to be substantiated, the Terrestrials maintain that the rogue orca spent parts of 2007 and 2008 at an Al-Qaeda training facility in Sudan.
Promethean Times 