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Tag Archives: free speech

Headlines 08.16.12

16 Thursday Aug 2012

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Entertainment, History, News, Politics

≈ 39 Comments

Tags

Amelia Earhart, Atlanta Braves, Aurora Massacre, Big Pharma, Camaroon, China, cocaine, dope, drunken Irishmen, Facebook, free speech, gay people, Germany, grass, Handi Wipes, headlines, hemp, hippies, hookers, marijuana, places that suck, pot, reefer, Sikh Massacre, slavery, Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French, Son of Sam, stoners, sweet sweet cheeba, weed, Why am I so fat?

By Smaktakula

If We Can No Longer Trust The Krauts To Be Racially Sensitive, What Hope Is Left?

In which we opine on the day’s headlines without first reading the stories.

***

Amelia Earhart: Better feminist than pilot? ~ Let’s fucking hope so!

Study: Rich, poor Americans increasingly likely to live in separate neighborhoods ~ Because in times of old, the industrialist robber barons preferred to slum it among the great unwashed.

A Facebook ‘Like’ Is Free Speech ~ At its most cowardly and least significant.

Olympic female badminton players face charges ~ You just don’t see this kind of thing happening with the goodminton players.

‘Son of Sam’ Killer: Aurora, Sikh Massacres ‘Senseless’ ~ But if, for example, a dude killed couples who were making out in cars ’cause a talking dog told him to do it, that would make a lot more sense.

“The French Embassy, Benny. Tomorrow, Noon. No Survivors.”

Alzheimer’s drug research halted ~ “To be fair, we didn’t halt it precisely, but rather we…ah…we…Are you my grandson?”

‘I don’t want my friends to die on my birthday’ ~ Same here. We’re holding out for Christmas.

Think You’re Gay? It Shows in Your Eyes ~ Ha!–You’ve got the Queer Eye.

7 Cameroon athletes missing from Olympic village ~ “Hey! The flight back to our jerkwater African Republic leaves in an hour! You guys will be so pissed if you miss it!”

Researchers doubt positive aspects of medical marijuana ~ And by ‘researchers’, we mean Justice Department fart-catchers and their Big Pharma masters.

Dude, If You REALLY Want To Help The Cause, Maybe Grab A Shower And Cut That Rat’s Nest Off Your Head.

US Presidential Election Takes Negative Turn ~ Verily. It is our most fervent hope that the scurrilous example set by both the Adams and Jefferson campaigns shall not be repeated in 1800’s presidential contest.

Are Team USA’s $500 Leotards Worth It? ~ Well now, that depends–have you guys already laundered them or are they still stinky? And do you accept PayPal?

Autopsy inconclusive for Obama staffer remembered as dedicated to campaign ~ He found out too late that the Kool-Aid comes at a pretty high price.

His other car is on Mars ~ Oh, he’s lying to you, honey. He ain’t got no other car.

Octopus hitches ride on dolphin’s genitals ~ Hey, we’ve got an idea: who wants to go fishing?

He’s Wearing One Right Now!

What it feels like to be attacked by a great white shark ~ Obviously, each  experience is unique and subject to myriad factors which can influence the outcome. However, agony and intense terror usually figure in there somewhere.

Irishman gives expert Olympic sailing commentary ~ “Ah fookin’ telt ye ah know fook all abaht boots, but ye can’t fookin’ oonerstan me, can ye, ye wee daft fookers?”

Exercise termed ‘Wonder Drug’ ~ Trickery is the only way to get fatties to try it.

21 Burned in Walk Over Hot Coals at Robbins Event ~ We have a modicum of sympathy for the first couple fire-walkers, but if you’re idiot #21, who’s just been asked to please step aside so the paramedics can get through, why not “go big” and just walk across the coals on your face?

Braves give Smoltz team’s highest honor ~ The Tomahawk Chop!

Often Native Americans Would Perform This Ceremony While Loitering Outside Stadiums On Game Day, Selling Loose Tickets. The Name Just Stuck.

Tavis Smiley: Poverty is the new slavery ~ So, did they not have poverty back in olden times? Otherwise, poverty is still poverty, and you’ll have to look a little harder to find the new slavery.

Why Certain Countries Dominate the Games ~ Because certain countries are naturally more awesome than others. That, and China cheats.

‘Mentally disabled’ man executed in Texas ~ Beginning writers often muddy their prose with extraneous words. Incisive, elegant writing means eschewing redundancies. This sentence should read “Texan executed.”

Live Alone? You’re Not Alone ~ But really you are. Very much alone.

Picking up more than a hooker ~ Well, sure–you can’t forget cocaine & Handi Wipes.

‘Cause It’s For Sure Gonna Get Messy.

Pork: The Other Hate Meat

09 Thursday Dec 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Politics, Religion, Stupidity

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

1st Amendment, Americans' self-loathing, anti-semitism, apology, bacon, bacon attack, Bacon is evil!, bunched panties, Filthy Jews!, free speech, hate crime, hate food, Islam, Islamic law, Jews, Kevin Bacon, Koran, meat, muslims, my religious values trump your liberties, North Carolina, pigs, pork, pork is Muslim kryptonite, Porky Pig, puppies, religion of peace, religious intolerance, ritual cleanliness, Scotland, special needs, unclean things, United States of America, whining, your hot sister

By Smaktakula

Get It Straight: Bacon Doesn't Love You. It's Only Hanging Around To Get A Crack At Your Hot Sister.

In American society’s quest to regulate speech in the interests of sensitivity and to answer the burning question Why are we so full of hate?, it must constantly reexamine various societal motifs and weed out those which have gained hateful properties. One of America’s favorite meats has undergone such a transformation: pork has stepped over to the dark side.  It is now a hate meat.

So If You Were Trapped On A Desert Island, And The Only Things Available To Eat Were Either A Pig Or A Jewish Dude . . .

To Muslims, the pig is one of many objects and things proscribed by Islam as ritually unclean.  Detractors of the Religion of Peace have begun to exploit this injunction.  Pork-related anti-Muslim attacks are on the rise across the country, including a recent episode where the words PIG and CHUMP were spelled out in bacon on a sidewalk in front of a North Carolina mosque.  For many within the Muslim community this was no bit of porcine playfulness, but nothing less than a direct assault on the peaceful teachings of Islam–a hate crime.

Not Quite So Literal, Jackass.

Some observers wonder: Are anti-Muslim activities on the rise, or has the Muslim community become more sensitive?  The Jewish faith has a similar proscription against pork, and has no doubt suffered many of the same food-related indignities as have Muslims in its long association with American life.  Nonetheless, we don’t hear as much about the hate food issue from Jewish people, who are perhaps more concerned with actual violence–sometimes perpetrated by Muslims–rather than imagined, symbolic violence.

While We're On The Subject Of Ritual Cleanliness, Let's Talk About That Beard.

In this regard, strictures on Muslim hygiene are much more severe than those of the Jewish faith, possibly the origin of the favored Islamic epithet, “dirty Jew.”  Whereas Jews only have to avoid eating unclean creatures, and more obvious prohibitions like not fornicating with them or wearing their skins, Muslims go all the way, with some even declaring an image of something unclean to be an affront to the Almighty.

And Worst Of All, The Little Infidel Creature Refuses To Wear Pants.

The potential list of Muslim vulnerabilities doesn’t end with pork; Islam defines several objects and creatures as ritually unclean.  Dogs, popular enough in the West to earn the affectionate sobriquet ‘Man’s Best Friend,’ are among the things the Koran has determined to be forbidden.  In fact, in Scotland recently a police postcard featuring the image of an adorable police dog puppy created outrage in the Muslim community.  The postcard was withdrawn and an abject apology soon followed.

Ritually Unclean Things Have A Similar Effect Upon Muslims.

This prohibition against dogs has also caused some Muslim cab drivers at the Minneapolis Airport to refuse to transport passengers with dogs.  Some refused people carrying alcohol or who had been drinking, another Islamic no-no.  There’s no word on whether these cab drivers refused entry to an unveiled woman  or one who dared to have a job.

Poster

A Cruel Slap In The Face To Islam. Bad Dog!

As mentioned earlier, while Muslims are by no means alone in following strict dietary and religious procedures, they stand out by demanding that people of other faiths observe these same strictures.  Orthodox Jews, for example, are religiously prohibited from mixing beef and dairy products, some going so far as to have separate ovens–and in some cases separate kitchens–for the two substances.  Curiously, there has not been a concerted effort by Jews to prevent people of other faiths from combining these two food products as they see fit.

The Real Face Of Pork. Not So Pretty, Eh?

In a possibly-related piece of news, scientists have discovered that diets low in pork-related products may in some instances cause people to become whiny bitches.* Efforts to produce sausage from contrived outrage and self-flagellation have yet to offer tangible results.

We Acknowledge That Some Bacon Is An Affront To God.

*Readers may be interested to know that Smaktakula does not eat pork products of any kind.  Draw your own conclusions. ∞T

When Great-Grandma Is An Anti-Semite

08 Tuesday Jun 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Constitutional Issues, Culture, Middle East, National Events, National Politics, People, Political Correctness, Politics, Relationships, Scandal, World Affairs

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

ageism, anti-semitism, Arbeit Macht Frei, comical despots, First Amendment, free speech, Helen Thomas, hypocrisy, Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, nuclear ambitions, press corps, scapegoating, senile old bag, Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!

Helen Thomas apologized for exercising her First Amendment rights, but she’s still out of a job.    

WIR MUSSEN DIE JUDEN AUSROTTEN!

Why is an idea deemed heinous when voiced by a single, senile old bag, but excused away when expressed by the leader of a country with nuclear ambitions?  

I'm Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, And I Approved This Message

It’s Not Free Speech, It’s Arbeit Macht Frei Speech: FOXNews.com – Helen Thomas Apologizes for Saying Jews Should ‘Get the Hell Out of Palestine’.    

Smaktakula

Priest’s Holocaust Comparison Deemed Improper

09 Friday Apr 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Christianity, Culture, History, Religion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

anti-semitism, Catholic Church, Catholic sex abuse scandal, Father Raniero Cantalamessa, free speech, genocide, Holocaust, Holocaust comparisons, hypocrisy, molestation, Nazis, Political Correctness, Ragnarok, real Nazis were pretty fucking awful, Soup Nazi

By Smaktakula

Whose Holocaust is it anyway?

During his Good Friday address from the Vatican, the Pope’s personal preacher likened attacks on the church and the pope to the horrors of the Holocaust.  Paraphrasing a Jewish friend’s letter, Father Raniero Cantalamessa declared,

The use of stereotypes and the shifting of personal responsibility to a collective guilt remind me of the most shameful aspects of anti-Semitism.

Promethean Times deplores this unacceptable Holocaust comparison, which was made even more egregious by the abundance of acceptable Holocaust comparisons from which Fr. Cantalamessa could have chosen.  Instead, he aimed low and chose to invoke this powerful comparison to defend the Church’s response to public anger over its own misdoings.

Something About Global Warming, We Think.

It is imperative that when Holocaust comparisons are made, they are made responsibly.  Responsible Holocaust comparison means choosing an acceptable atrocity or deplorable condition which to compare.  The following partial list of maladies and social ills have been found acceptable for Holocaust comparison:

  • AIDS
  • Racism
  • Global Warming/Environment/Climate Change/Ragnarök
  • Abortion
  • Famine
  • People Without Health Insurance
  • The plight of Native Americans in modern American society.
  • The Palestinian situation (for those who like their Holocaust comparisons served with a little irony).
  • Lastly, in what is generally considered an archaic usage, the Holocaust is sometimes compared to the genocide perpetrated against the Jews, communists, homosexuals, Jehovah’s Witnesses and just about everybody else by Nazi Germany in the 1930s and 1940s.

So Is The Whole Thing That The Nazis Wouldn't Give Jewish People Soup? Because We Thought There Was More To It Than That.

From Times Online: Libby Purves Castigates Victim Industry In Bullygate Affair

23 Tuesday Feb 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Europe, General Foolishness, Political Correctness, World Affairs

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

bully, Bullygate, bullying, free speech, Gordon Brown, Gordonzilla, Libby Purves, National Bullying Hotline, Political Correctness, Times Online, United Kingdom, victim industry

And she does it in no uncertain terms.

I’m not sure what it is that makes Bullygate such a compelling story. 

Is it Mr. Brown himself that makes the story interesting–his thuggish behavior drawing inevitable comparisons to the affable Tony Blair?  Unlikely, given that there’s very little interesting about the current British PM.

A Big Teddy Bear

If the story isn’t about Gordonzilla, then the real meaning must lie with the culture of victimization which allows stories like this to gain traction.  It’s never fun to work in a poisonous culture, but to that Ms. Purves offers:

{B}ut if you’re good enough to get a job at Downing Street you’re good enough to find one somewhere quieter. And if you’re bright enough to be an aide, you can either shrug off the tantrums or tell Gordonzilla not to be so damn rude.

Read how Libby advocates a stiff upper lip: It’s Downing Street.  Not A Sheltered Workshop.

Smaktakula

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