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Tag Archives: Michael Steele

I’m Not A Nazi, But I Play One On The Weekends

11 Monday Oct 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, History, Politics, Stupidity

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

5th SS Panzer Division Wiking, Adolf Hitler, cabals, GOP, historical reenactors, Michael Steele, National Socialism, Nazi uniform, New Order, Ohio, Ohio 9th Congressional District, political suicide, Republican Party, Rich Iott, SS, stupidity, Tea Party, Weekend Wehrmacht, white supremacists, Zionism

By Smaktakula

It turns out that Rich Iott, the GOP’s nominee for Ohio’s 9th Congressional District, likes to dress up as an SS officer.  This may prove a liability in the upcoming election.

Had The Photo Been Of--Say, Iott Having Relations With A Goose, For Example--He Might Have A Chance. But This?

Although Iott contends that his activities with Wiking, a group which reenacts the battles of Germany’s 5th SS Panzer Division Wiking, merely reflect his love of history, this incident raises serious question about Iott’s electability.   At the very least this displays a marked lack of judgement for a candidate.  The only thing more politically damaging than being photographed in a Nazi officer’s uniform is actually going full Mönti and dressing up like Hitler.

"My Opponents Will Try To Use This To Discredit Me, But The Voters Are Smarter Than That. Come November, There Will Be A Final Solution. No . . .Wait. *Resolution.* That's What I Meant."

While this news should play well within the relatively tiny white supremacist subculture, that’s likely to be of little benefit to Iott, as very few such individuals vote, believing it to be a “waste of time since the Zionist cabal has already determined the winner.”  It will play poorly with both the Democratic party and  with moderate to conservative elements within the GOP.  Members of the Tea Party are expected to react no more warmly.  Although Iott is a Tea Party candidate, the party is said to be fuming at the weekend Krieger’s indiscretion.  A disgusted Tea Party member was heard opining that, “You can’t have National Socialism without socialism.”

Michael Steele Inexplicably Remains As The GOP Chief: "Look, Everybody Dresses Up Like A Nazi Now And Then, Right? But What We're Saying Is, He Shouldn't Have Let Them Take His Picture."

Most observers predict that the disclosure of his involvement with the Weekend Wehrmacht will doom Iott’s  election bid.  Not so, says the congressional hopeful.  “America has been ‘business as usual’ for too long.  What you’re really talking about is institutional chaos.  Rich Iott will make sense of the chaos, and with your help will bring about a New Order in November.”

Britain Bequeathed To America The Gift Of Liberty. It Stands To Reason Some Less Savory Traits Might Have Been Included.

Not What You Were Looking Four?

07 Tuesday Sep 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, General Foolishness, Hollywood, People

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Tags

Anne Rice, Baby Boomers, bulls, Chesley Sullenberger, crazy bastard, David Arquette, dope, douchebaggery, Dr. Grigori Perelman, dreadlocks, Garfield, goring, grass, Great Moments In American Diplomacy, Guy Fieri, hairless hit factory, hemp, hippies, Hiroshima, incompetent boobery, Japan, Jeffrey Jones, John Wayne Bobbitt, Jon Lovitz, Justin Bieber, Kathy Ireland, Lorena Gallo Bobbitt, marijuana, Michael Steele, Mike Tyson, Mom and Dad Save the World, nasty blond dreadlocks, Olive Garden, pirates, pot, Ramtha, reefer, Richard Simmons, Saudi Arabia, sweet sweet cheeba, tattoos, Teri Garr, Wallace Shawn

By Smaktakula

Well what did you think we were gonna call it?  Not what you were looking for four? Imbecile.

Newer readers who are unfamiliar with our “Not What You Were Looking For?” series may wish to review our first three fabulous installments:

  • Not What You Were Looking For?
  • Still Not What You Were Looking For?
  • Not What You Were Looking For, Episode III: The Search For Cock

promethan times Wrong!

world’s worst latin mullet; russian mullet No one wins when the M Virus spreads.  At least Iran has taken precautions.

hiroshima august 6 2010 Nothing happened on that date. But 65 years earlier, the place was smokin’!

ohn and lorena bobbit Looks like that dick got sliced again.

drunk irishman shit self We’ll agree that No Line On The Horizon wasn’t U2’s finest effort.

ramtha crazy; ramtha full of shit Well which is it?

grigori perelman god proof No one is God proof–not even that crazy bastard.

bulls goring mouth Bulls gore with their horns.  They bite with their mouths.  Now you know.

sad “richard simmons” Sad?  But we thought gay was a synonym for ‘happy’?

smoking marijuana wisely It can’t be done.  Have you seen how those people dress?

promathan times Wrong!

penis fact 1952 Fact: The penis wasn’t even invented until 1955.

real garlfield cat We’re sorry that it falls upon us to tell you this, but we think you should know that Garfield isn’t real.  That’s right, he’s a cartoon character.  Douche.

live aid Live Aid did a lot of good for a lot of people.  Also, Freddy Mercury was a beloved performer who helped to put a human face to AIDS.

justin bieber sexy You’ll recall that we wished ill upon the hairless hit factory.  For sexy JB, this is more your bag.

lazy bastards on unemployment Now you’re just trying to stir up trouble.

hippie elderly people Sadly it’s true: the Baby Boomers are retiring.  They look forward to travel, spending time with their grandchildren, and self-indulgently sucking dry the nation’s financial marrow.

do dread make your head big In some instances it do.  If you blond, it make your head stupid.

pictures of black actor died Haven’t we already been through this?

how many californians smoke marijuana Too many of them.

prerry herd Is that dirty?  It sounds dirty.

saudi punishment The punishment is that the senior class won’t have a dance this year.  And they’ll all be flogged.

michael steele douchebaggery It was incompetent boobery, actually.

guy fieri pirate With that hair, we can definitely see it.  Or do you mean like a buccaneer-type pirate?

great moments in american diplomacy Here, Here and Here.

bull cow smiling Don’t trust that hermaphroditic bovine.

july 14, 1789 a.d. paris It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.  Feel free to start a novel with that line.

captain sullenberger wife beater Captain Sullenberger’s wife: backtalker.

author renounces catholicism And nobody noticed.

divorced happy photos We’re guessing you spend a great deal of time huddled in a corner, weeping.

commercials we hate olive garden That’s so weird–we hate those commercials, too!  Also Bush’s Original Baked Beans.

david arquette tats You’ll wish you hadn’t.  Sooner rather than later.

cast of mom and dad save the world It Features Jon Lovitz, Teri Garr, Kathy Ireland and the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard rendered into flesh and blood, Wallace Shawn.  Also this dangerous child molester.

mexican marijuana A lot like domestic marijuana except it works harder and costs less.

promethean times Right!

Michael Steele: Cut And Run

02 Friday Jul 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Duh, General Foolishness, History, National Events, People, Politics, Terrorism

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Afghanistan, Barack Obama, black Republicans, blunder, douchebaggery, encephalitis is no laughing matter, George W. Bush, idiotic comments, incompetent boobery, jackassery, Michael Steele, Michael Steele is a boob, Republican National Committee, Republicans, RNC, war of Obama's choosing

By Smaktakula

Michael Steele’s impotent tenure as Chairman of the Republican National Committee has come to the sad end everyone has long expected.  Steele, who aside from being a black Republican is best known for his remarkably incompetent boobery, recently referred to the Afghan conflict as ‘a war of Obama’s choosing.’  This claim is absolutely true, if by Obama he means George W. Bush.  Otherwise, it’s pretty idiotic.    

But Steele wasn’t done: “This was not something that the United States had actively prosecuted or wanted to engage in,” he said.  This statement is also true, assuming that the “not” was a verbal typo.  If it wasn’t, this statement would sound moronic coming from an encephalic six-year-old.    

"Okay, We've Got Three Happy Meals, Two Milkshakes And An Apple Pie. Would You Care To Supersize It?"

Steele Justice Comes Fast And Hard

12 Wednesday May 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, General Foolishness, National Events, National Politics, Political Correctness, Politics, Scandal

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

bondage club scandal, GOP, John Shaft, Michael Steele, Papa Don't Take No Mess, Pat Boone, Republican Party, strip club scandal, Upside Yo Head

Michael Steele takes swift and firm action on the Republican sex-club scandal that happened like two years ago or something.

2 Parts John Shaft + 1 Part Pat Boone = Michael Steele: Upside Yo Head, Punk!

Papa Don’t Take No Mess.  For More Than A Few Months, Anyway: FOXNews.com – Steele Fires Finance Directors Amid ‘Bondage Club’ Scandal.    

Smaktakula

The GOP Finally Getting Its Black On

30 Friday Apr 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, National Events, People, Political Correctness, Politics, Race, Regional Politics

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Abel Maldonado, African-Americans, Al Sharpton, Alan Keyes, Arkansas, Barack Obama, Black Leadership Scowl, black Republicans, Bobby Jindal, Democratic Party, GOP, Jeremiah Wright, Jesse Jackson, Louis Farrakhan, Michael Steele, Mike Huckabee, playing the race card, Princella Smith, professional race baiters, Project 21, race baiting, Republican Party, Republicans, Rick Crawford, Sinister Minister

By Smaktakula
Note:  This story should not be confused with “The GOP Finally Getting Its Freak On,” which is a horse of a different color.
With apologies to Michael Steele and Alan Keyes.

Princella Smith is a young, female GOP congressional candidate in a predominantly Democratic district in Arkansas.   And she’s black.

Maybe Next Time.

In addition to running Republican in a blue district, Smith is an underdog candidate in the GOP primary, running against Rick Crawford, who has already secured the endorsement of former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee.

Win or lose, Smith’s entry into the fray can help the GOP considerably, provided she isn’t painted by the media (or by herself) as a bizarre novelty candidate.

Republicans have long been tagged as the party of old white men (an impression exacerbated by recent events).  While Republicans counter this by pointing to such figures as the aforementioned Keyes and Steele, neither the perennial joke candidate nor the GOP’s beleaguered chief are particularly charismatic.

Also, while African-Americans do not vote or think in as much of a bloc as the media (or professional race baiters like Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Louis Farrakhan, Jeremiah Wright–all religious figures, interestingly enough) would have the public believe, it is true that the Republicans have done a lackluster job of reaching out to non-whites.

The vast majority of Americans are eager to put race behind them.  Barack Obama’s election was supposed to heal America’s racial rifts and put an end to identity politics.  The President and his closest advisors have been careful to downplay the racial element of Obama’s historic victory, but despite this the divide seems to have sharpened in many ways.  This is no doubt due in part to the need for the aforementioned race baiters to reassert the racial disparity (because if there weren’t race problems, these guys wouldn’t get to appear on TV once a week or so with that practiced “Black Leadership” scowl).

Nobody Does The Black Leadership Scowl Quite Like The Representative From Maryland.

Candidates like Smith, Louisiana’s Bobby Jindal and California’s Abel Maldonado can only help to diversify and extremely stultified Republican party.  Diversity–through organic means and not via odious and racially belittling quotas–could help to destigmatize the Republican Party in non-white communities.

That may be well and good for the Republicans, but how does it benefit the nation as a whole?  Not long ago the United States made itself believe that the election of a particular black person would once and for all snuff the uncomfortable question of race in politics.

It didn’t, and it’s probably too much to think that a congressional longshot could exorcise an entire nation’s demons.  It might not be too much of a stretch, however, to hope that Smith’s candidacy might draw awareness to moderates and conservatives within the black community.  If such moderates and conservatives were given voice by the media, it would obviate the ostensible need for a race-baiting reverend.

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