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Author Archives: Smaktakula

A Confederacy Of D-Bags

16 Tuesday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Crime, Culture, General Foolishness, Justice, National Events, National Politics, Politics, Scandal

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Andrew Young, Blago, Cheri Young, contempt of court, douchebaggery, Eliot Spitzer, Elizabeth Edwards, Game Change, Gary Hart, GQ photo spread, John Edwards, John Edwards sex tape, Judge Abraham Penn, National Enquirer, political leper, political pariah, Rielle Hunter, Rod Blagojevich, Spiro Agnew, superior court

By Smaktakula

Ex-John Edwards aide Andrew Young  has been ordered by Superior Court Judge Abraham Penn to return all copies of a sex tape allegedly made by Edwards and his mistress, Rielle Hunter.  Failing this, Young and his wife Cheri face jail for contempt of court.         

It’s hard to have sympathy for any of the players in this sad drama–certainly not the Youngs, who are accused of holding extra copies of the sex tape, nor for the ostensible victims, Edwards and Hunter.       

Edwards: Not Always A Political Leper

Edwards, who came close to capturing the vice presidency in 2004, has since then systematically shredded every last vestige of his reputation, and sent his once-promising political career spiralling wildly beyond Gary Hart territory, finally settling in the land of posterity’s bottom-feeders, featuring the likes of  Spiro Agnew and future Trivial Pursuit answers  Rod “Blago” Blagojevich and Eliot Spitzer.  According to Game Change, Edwards was so self-deluded even after being outed as Hunter’s babydaddy by a supermarket tabloid, the pretty North Carolinian was still angling to be Obama’s Attorney General.         

Edwards’ decision to make a sex tape with Hunter, let alone allowing it to fall out of his possession, is a course of action so decidedly reckless and even stupid that it begs the question: Did Edwards sabotage himself intentionally?         

It’s doubtful–Edwards appears to be divorced from reality.  What does remain open to debate is the question, to what degree?  Despite all the storms Edwards has weathered in the past two years, the former senator remains capable of Herculean feats of self-deception, even if increasingly he can’t fool much of anybody else.  Most recently, he’s taken his act to Haiti, vowing to help the Haitians as only John Edwards can.  Presumably, this means suing the manufacturers of faulty swimming pool pumps.  If this is the indeed the case, the Haitian swimming pool supply industry may need to apply for some of the international relief funds which continue to pour into Haiti: Edwards may be cheap, but his bill won’t be.         

Rielle Hunter might be the most interesting player in this drama, not only for her role as a future footnote in the annals of history, but also for both for many lives she’s lived– among them actress, a savvy videographer who could make YouTube work for political candidates, game-show contestant, fraud victim and the inspiration for a literary character.  Perhaps her ability to reinvent herself is what Edwards saw in her in the first place.  Like Hunter, Edwards is a chameleon, in which the search for identity is life’s meaning.         

Hunter is shedding her most recent skin for GQ.  Painted for so long as “the other woman,” Hunter wants to show the world the kind of wholesome gal she is.         

Hunter: Tasetful GQ "Spread"

 Young, Edwards’ former lickspittle and author of the recent political tell-all The Politician, wants us to know that he was a pawn in something beyond his ken.  Edwards was a Rasputin, Young would have us believe, and caught his innocent aide in the web of his machinations.  It was for those reasons–loyalty, esprit de corps, hero-worship–that Young humiliated his own family by claiming to be the father of Rielle Hunter’s child.  Sadder yet, it appears this deception fooled no one, except perhaps for Elizabeth Edwards.        

At first it seemed that Cheri Young’s only wrongdoing was exercising poor choice in agreeing to marry Andrew Young.  When most of the public knew that Edwards was almost certainly the father of Hunter’s child, it was still possible to pity the humiliated Cheri when her husband ridiculously claimed to be the father of  Hunter’s child.  With the potential contempt charges hanging over Cheri as well as her husband, it appears that the wronged wife has at least a little of the grifter in her.  In this, she’s found herself in welcome company.         

Young: Claims Not To Be A Sneering Ass

 Currently, the bizarre quartet comprising Edwards, Hunter and the Youngs is now split into two very distinct–and opposing–camps.  Promethean Times predicts that in a few short years, when the money’s run out and the notoriety isn’t enough even to keep the National Enquirer interested, what is now two will most likely be four.         

Elizabeth Edwards: Hard To Believe John Would Go Outside The Marriage For Sex

 

This Day In History: March 15, 44 BCE

15 Monday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in History, Politics

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

15 March 44 BC, Et tu Brute?, Ides of March, Julius Caesar, Marcus Junius Brutus, political assassination, political killing, Roman Senate, Rome, senators, this day in history, treachery

On which Gaius Julius Caesar has a very bad day.

He'll Miss The Senate St. Patrick's Day Party For Sure

Guardian: Axelrod Calls Israeli Announcement ‘Insult’

15 Monday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in General Foolishness, International Relations, Middle East, Politics, World Affairs

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

anti-Israel policy, Benjamin Netanyahu, Biden being Biden, Biden gaffes, Binyamin Netanyahu, David Axelrod, Guardian UK, insult to US, Israel, Joe Biden, Obama Administration, Palestine, Palestinians, pro-Palestinian bias, settlements, United States of America, US-Israeli Relations, Vice President Biden, Zionism

American Mideast policy has returned to normal.  That is to say, the new normal.       

One of President Obama’s most senior aides has described Israel‘s sudden announcement of plans to build 1,600 homes in occupied East Jerusalem as an “affront” to the US which could undermine peace efforts in the Middle East.       

“This was an affront, it was an insult but most importantly it undermined this very fragile effort to bring peace to that region,” he said on NBC’s Meet the Press. “For this announcement to come at that time was very destructive.”       

On March 10th, Promethean Times questioned the political validity of the warm comments Vice President Joe Biden made on a trip to Israel.  Sadly, what seemed like a statement of solidarity with America’s only consistently reliable Mideast ally was just Biden being Biden.  The Obama Administration will continue to regard Israel as an aggressor against the beleaguered and long-suffering Palestinians.       

Continue reading →

Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy Split

15 Monday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Hollywood, Movies, People, Relationships, Television

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Bing Crosby, Bob Hope, celebrity breakups, Corey Feldman, Corey Haim, Fel-Dog, Haimster, Hollywood breakups, Jamie Kennedy, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Katherine Hepburn, obscure celebrities, People Magazine, Spencer Tracy

According to People, it’s true.    

If Haim & Feldman were Gen X’s unrecognized Hope & Crosby, then perhaps the union of Hewitt and Kennedy produced Generation Y’s Tracy and Hepburn.   

Jamie & Jennifer During Happier Times

Hopefully fans’ grief will be mitigated somewhat the knowledge that while this news is certainly dismal, it is proof that the two are still alive.    

Wait–who are Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy again?    

Find Out At The Same Time Promethean Times Does: Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy Split – Breakups, Jamie Kennedy, Jennifer Love Hewitt : People.com.   

Smaktakula

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

12 Friday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Sport

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Tags

Anaheim, Anaheim Angels, Baseball, California, California Angels, Chavez Ravine, Gayngels, Los Angeles, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, Los Angeles Dodgers, Magic Kingdom, Major League Baseball, Mike Scioscia is an apostate!, MLB, Orange County, poseur

By Smaktakula

When someone pretends to be from someplace he’s not, we call him a poseur.

When a professional sports franchise pretends to be from somewhere it’s not, we call it the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

LA

Not LA

Village Massacres Shake Uneasy Nigeria

12 Friday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Africa, Christianity, Crime, Islam, Religion, World Affairs

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Christianity, Christians, George Clooney, Goodluck Jonathan, Green Day, Islam, James Bond, muslims, Niger, Nigeria, Nigerian massacre, U2, village massacres, Wall Street Journal, WSJ

Nigeria (not to be confused with its similar sounding and similarly-troubled neighbor Niger) is experiencing more religious violence between Muslims and Christians.         

Since the unrest in Nigeria has yet to attain Third-World-Crisis-of-the-Moment status, it languishes in the doldrums of global anonymity.  Lacking a Green Day song or an impassioned plea by George Clooney, the religious violence in Nigeria will likely go on unabated.         

This quote from the article helps to illustrate just how deep the hostilities run within Nigeria:         

An elderly woman prayed at the edge of the burial pit, chanting. “By God’s grace we will enter their villages and kill their women and children,” she repeated.      

Adding to Nigeria’s sinister-quotient is the vice president (and current acting president), Goodluck Jonathan.  Not only does Mr. Jonathan have the perfect name to be the arch-villain’s freakish henchman in a James Bond film, he’s got the right look, too.    

"No, Mr. Bond--I Expect You To Die"

 Read About It Before U2 Sings About It: Village Massacres Shake Uneasy Nigeria – WSJ.com.   

Smaktakula 

Tiger’s Former Flame Thinks Someone Deserves A Second Chance

12 Friday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity, Golf, News

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Elin Nordegren, infidelity, Irene Folstrom, meal ticket, old flame, Stanford, Teutonic slut, Tiger Woods

“I support him 100 percent,” said Irene Folstrom, who said she dated Woods in the mid-1990s when they were undergrads at Stanford University. “Of course, he was unfaithful and he has his faults, but he is really a good person.”

One possible interpretation:

You know that Teutonic slut can’t give you what I can.  Come back, Meal Ticket!

Irene Folstrom: A Fan Of Second Chances?

Does She Have A Chance At A Second Chance? Tiger Woods’s college girlfriend: He deserves another chance – CNN.com.

Smaktakula

Reuters Wants You To Know That U.S. Children Turn To Inhaling To Get High

12 Friday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Crime, Drug Culture, Drugs, Duh, General Foolishness, Health, National Events

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

aerosols, choking game, fainting game, genie, getting high, household products, huffing, inhalants, Jenkem, K2, media scare, Reuters, Rocket Ride, sensationalist media, sniffing, solvent, Spice, urban legends, vapors

And Reuters is turning to sensationalism to sell ad space.  

The illicit inhalation of household products, or huffing, can have profound and disastrous effects on users.  It is axiomatic that this message be reinforced among young people, the group most likely to begin abusing inhalants.  Reminding the public about the danger posed by inhalants is a laudable endeavor, but sounding the alarm for its own sake is foolish.     

Are more children using inhalants now?     

The rate of inhalant use of that age has remained steady over the past few years, but officials are concerned that young people increasingly do not see abusing inhalants as risky.     

Oh.  Inhalant abuse hasn’t increased among children, it’s just that officials are worried about it.  Apparently, Reuters thinks you should be worried too.  Just like with Jenkem, K2 and the Choking Game.   

Could This Be Your Child? You Bet It Could!

 

Even As You Read This Your Children Are Huffing!: U.S. children turn to inhaling to get high: study | Reuters. 

Smaktakula

Big League Stew: Torii Hunter Calls Black Latino Players Imposters

11 Thursday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Baseball, Culture, General Foolishness, Political Correctness, Race, Sports, Television

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

African-American baseball players, Big League Stew, black baseball players, black Latino, boneheaded, douchebaggery, imposters, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, Major League Baseball, MLB, race in baseball, race in sports, race relations, racism, racist, Torri Hunter

Torii Hunter’s comments about race in baseball are not typically this boneheaded.  “Boneheaded” is what we call it when a person of color says something like this.  “Racist” is what we call it when a white person says it.  

While participating in USA Today’s roundtable on the state of baseball, Hunter floated a theory that baseball uses dark-skinned players from countries like the Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico and Venezuela to give an appearance that it has more African-Americans playing the game than it really does. 

But, Hunter says in a controversial money quote, “they’re not us, they’re impostors.” 

No Imposter: Torii Hunter Is A For Reals Black Person

 Analysis of Torii’s Bonehead Moment Here: Torii Hunter believes black Latino players are ‘impostors’ – Big League Stew – MLB Blog – Yahoo! Sports. 

Smaktakula

ESPN: Public Input Period For Federal Fishery Strategy Has Ended

11 Thursday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Constitutional Issues, Critters, Culture, National Events, National Politics, Politics, Sports

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

conservation, Council on Environmental Equality, environmentalism, ESPN, ESPNOutdoors.com, Federal Fishery Strategy, fishing industry, Obama Administration, Robert Montgomery, sportfishing, Steve Bowman

It comes as something of a shock that an ESPN political piece arising from the world of sportfishing should arouse any controversy, let alone the amount it has.

Also notable is Executive Editor of ESPNOutdoors.com Steve Bowman’s pusillanimous missive reminding readers that this is an opinion piece.  Opinions–as people with ridiculously long titles already know, but you probably don’t–are subjective, and not stone-cold facts like those published in many of America’s fine newspapers.

Don’t Forget That’s It’s Just An Opinion When You Read: Public input period for federal fishery strategy has ended – ESPN.

Smaktakula
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