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Tag Archives: Haiti

Back In Baby’s Arms

19 Wednesday Jan 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Crime, News, Politics

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

apologies to Patsy Cline, Barack Obama, Brother Voodoo, cliche, dictators, Duvalier dynasty, Francois "Papa Doc" Duvalier, Haiti, Haitian Crisis, hereditary dictatorship, impoverished third-world backwater, Is that not what 'paradox' means?, Jean-Claude "Baby Doc" Duvalier, Jobu, Major League, medically-themed despots, Pedro Cerrano, Rene Preval, Veronique Roy, voodoo despotism

By Smaktakula

This Is An Amazingly Authentic Depiction Of Day-To-Day Life In Haiti.

Fans of third-world despotism are aglow at the ominous tidings of Jean-Claude Duvalier’s return to Haiti after twenty-five years in well-deserved exile.  Duvalier, better known as “Baby Doc,” came to power in 1971 upon the death of his father François, appropriately called “Papa Doc.”  The paradox ruled the country from 1956 until Baby Doc was overthrown by a popular revolt in 1986.

Bad Boys: We Complain To Our Friends How They Hurt Us, But God!--How They Stick In Our Hearts.

In the nearly thirty years that the medically-themed despotic dynasty ruled Haiti, Papa and Baby managed to systematically drain the struggling nation of any single thing which might stem its decent into third-world squalor to a country at which even Hondurans turn up their noses.  But time has a bad memory, and history is just another word for accepted truth–some Haitians have begun to wax nostalgic about the Duvalier regimes.  The “Kims of the Caribbean” may have been repressive, but as the saying goes, they made the trains run on time.*

"Could I Have Missed Something The First Time?"

Many of the same people who a quarter-century ago chased Baby Doc from Haiti were today awaiting Duvalier’s arrival at the airport, filling the air with cries of “Duvalier!  Duvalier!”  A beaming Baby Doc, with his consort Veronique Roy in tow, said he had returned to help the beleaguered nation, which has been beset recently by allegations of electoral fraud and has yet to recover either from last year’s devastating earthquake or from the preceding years of shittiness stretching back as far as anyone can remember.

Several foreign leaders, including US President Barack Obama, expressed concern at the ex-dictator’s return to the nation he had in the past used so poorly.  However, Obama expressed confidence that Haitians “have too much on the ball” to fall prey to a charismatic dictator.

The God Jobu, Seen Here With Haitian Baseball Great Pedro Cerrano, Demands Ever-Greater Quantities Of Rum And Tobacco.

In fact, Baby Doc’s renewed interest in Haiti has set speculators buzzing.  It was long thought that by the time the Duvaliers were driven from Haiti, they had bled from the country everything of value, leaving it a desiccated, lifeless carcass.  But believing the likelihood slim that Baby Doc’s motives for returning to his homeland are even remotely altruistic, some are beginning to wonder if perhaps there’s still something in Haiti worth stealing.

Don't Get Your Hopes Up, It Hasn't Happened Yet.

On Tuesday, Haitian authorities briefly took Baby Doc into custody, where large groups of the tyrant’s supporters gathered, burning tires and shouting threats at current Haitian President, Rene Preval.  The second-generation dictator expressed surprise at the decision, but no real concern.  “I’m not going anywhere,” he said.

*Note: Smaktakula’s use of this cliché is purely the result of laziness.  Promethean Times does not wish to give readers the erroneous impression that Haiti has rail transit, and by extension an infrastructure. ∞T.

Free Tibet! (Or Did That Already Happen?)

06 Thursday Jan 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, History

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

abortion, adhesive decal, Americans' woeful lack of a global perspective, Asia, ass-talking, Barack Obama, bumper sticker mentality, China, Dalai Lama, Did we ever fix the Rain Forest?, Free Tibet flags, Free Tibet!, Free World, freeway pundits, Fugeeman, Haiti, Haitians don't play baseball, irony, irony sense, Ivory Coast, jackassery, John Edwards, John Kerry, KERRY/EDWARDS 2004, Macedonia, mythical creatures, mythical lands, Native Americans, Norway, OBAMA IS A SOCIALIST!, people who want to sound smart but aren't, PISS, political bumper stickers, Political Intelligence Standards Survey, political philosophy, political slogans, post-Soviet, Promethean Times, Smaktakula's ability to shamelessly talk out of his ass, SMILE YOU WEREN'T ABORTED, South America, Soviet Union, Sri Lanka, stupid people, stupidity on display, sub-Saharan, Tibet, Tibetans, uninformed opinions, voodoo, we choose to use 'stupid' as a noun. What are you gonna do?, we don't know what we're talking about, Wendigo, William Faulkner, Wyclef Jean, Yeti

By Smaktakula

Sure, Sure--It's Super Important, But We Have Some Questions First.

It’s a challenge to drive any distance these days without seeing the ubiquitous political bumper sticker, in which complex and deeply-nuanced issues are boiled down to a sloganized reduction so bereft of substance that it makes the average high-schooler’s Tweet seem Faulknerian by comparison.  From SMILE YOU WEREN’T ABORTED’s stealthy smugness to the charmingly pathetic earnestness of KERRY/EDWARDS 2004, political bumper stickers proclaim a myriad of simplistic political philosophies expressed in varying degrees of screechiness.

FREE TIBET saw its heyday as a cause célèbre in the heady days of the Post-Soviet 1990s, when anything seemed possible–even affecting global change through the power of an adhesive decal.  Even so, FREE TIBET still doggedly clamors for attention from the rear bumpers of those who refuse to forget.

Tibetans Such As Man-Who-Watches-Sky Wonder When The Great Spirit Will End Their Oppression.

But do they know what they remember?  After seeing a certain musician (whom we choose not to name, but who recently attempted a laughably anticlimactic run at the presidency of an impoverished, voodoo-loving, non-baseball playing nation in the Caribbean) fail spectacularly to comment coherently on the situation, we began to wonder how much Tibet’s defenders actually know about the tiny, oppressed nation.  So we devised a simple test.

Although Promethean Times lives and dies on Freedom of Expression, we believe also in the responsibility to voluntarily limit that freedom to those spheres of knowledge in which the speaker has at least a rudimentary grasp of the subject.  We do not question the right of any man, woman or child to speak out of his or her ass–Promethean Times is both a proponent of and adherent to the delicately-disciplined ballet that is ass-talking–but to trumpet one’s ignorance publicly from the back of a car is not only a blaring admission of that ignorance, but allows observers to match the stupid to a face.

Tibet Boasts A Host Of Aboriginal Cultures.

Which is why Promethean Times endorses the Political Intelligence Standards Survey, a voluntary program whereby the owners of political bumper stickers would submit to a brief test of their knowledge on the subject about which they wish so stridently to opine.  Those freeway pundits able to pass the test would be able to tell the world not only that OBAMA IS A SOCIALIST!, but also to proudly proclaim that they have at least a half-formed idea of what a socialist is.

For the FREE TIBET crowd we recommend asking “On which continent will you find Tibet?”  In a perfect world the respondent would be able to name the country from which beleaguered Tibet seeks to gain its independence, but after much debate we decided that was probably asking for too much from today’s geographically-disinclined society.

The Yeti (Seen Here) And The Dalai Lama Are Two Of Tibet's More Famous Mythical Creatures.

The upshot is that the situation in Tibet is very serious, and threatens to spill over into neighboring Ivory Coast and Macedonia, with violence potentially spreading widely enough even to affect fake countries like Sri Lanka.  Until the Norwegian government sees fit to bring real freedom to the brave people of this tiny sub-Saharan nation, the Free World should never expect real peace in South America.

Well, We've Done Our Part.

Given that the above is 100% true, we’re not exactly sure why our Irony Sense goes wild at the fact that until recently some FREE TIBET flags were made in China. ∞T.

Promethean Times’ 2010 Person Of The Year: Us

31 Friday Dec 2010

Posted by tardsie in Celebrity, Cinema, Crime, Culture, History, News, Politics, Religion, Sport

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

'Lil Kim, 2010, 2011, Abner Doubleday should sue the hell out of the guy who 'invented' cricket, Africa, American soldiers, Axis of Evil, Barack Obama, bellicose shenanigans, Bernie Madoff, BP, Bradley Manning, Bush the intellectuable, Chief Executive, comical despots, Conan O'Brien, congress, conventional wisdom, copyright infringement, corporate douchebaggery, cricket, Democratic Party, effete Mac users, Elizabeth Edwards, Face & Boobs man, feel-good policies, figurative fellatio, Franklin Pierce, Fugeeman, games foreigners play, genocide, George W. Bush, GOP, Haiti, Haitian Crisis, Haitian Earthquake, Hitler of Major League Baseball, How very original!, hucksterism, impoverished third-world hellhole, Iran, Jay Leno, John Edwards, Julian Assange, Kim Jong-il is batshit crazy, leeches, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is batshit crazy, Martha Stewart Living, Michael Lohan, MiLo, Miss You Mom, modern classics, Mood the Dude, mullets, Nanci Pelosi, nanny state, North Korea, Osama bin Laden, Osama's crazed legions, Pat Robertson, Pat Robertson is batshit crazy, People Magazine, personal magnetism, Pierce was known more for drink than for effective leadership, poor Elizabeth Edwards--she was so brave and she suffered so much, popular culture, President Bush, President Obama, Promethean Times, Promethean Times' Person of the Year, religious right, Republican Party, retcons, rumor has it that the vote for Person of the Year was fixed, San Francisco Giants, San Mateo, Sarah Palin, Smaktakula's hatred of the San Francisco Giants, special-needs children, Spiro Agnew, Sports Illustrated, step your game up, Steve Jobs, Tea Party, terrifying Campfire Girl, Texas Rangers, the canonization of St. Elizabeth, the cult-like devotion accorded to Steve Jobs by effete Mac users, the Devil, the impotence of the UN, the increasing irrelevance of TIME, the UN's maddening inaction in the face of genocide, theogeologist, Tim Lincecum, Time, TIME allows pedestrian intellects to believe they are otherwise, TIME's Person of the Year, Tony Hayward, tradition, Transformers I and II, treachery, UN, United Nations, United States of America, WikiLeaks, Wyclef Jean, yes theogeologist is another coinage but like grammaverick you've gotta admit it kicks ass

By Promethean Times

Conventional wisdom warns that TIME‘s annual Person of the Year award is so iconic as to render superfluous any imitations.  However, as it has so many times before, Promethean Times eschews the expected by boldly forging a new path, in this instance by appropriating TIME‘s 80-year-old tradition.

Did You Know? TIME Was Once Known For Journalism, And Was Considered More Newsworthy Than Its Current Contemporaries, People Magazine And Martha Stewart Living.

The decision to bestow Promethean Times with this highly coveted accolade did not come easily.  A great many individuals and events helped to make 2010 one of the most dynamic years on record.

There was Julian Assange of WikiLeaks, and traitorous American soldier Bradley Manning, who assisted in the appropriation of several documents.  There was BP’s disgraced Tony Hayward, whose reputation in tatters, has only his fabulous wealth to console him, and Bernie Madoff, although convicted in 2009, still managed to keep his name in circulation.

US President Barack Obama rammed through feel-good policies to be billed to posterity and the people loved him for it.  The press, however, seemed to recover from their embarrassing love affair with the Chief Executive, quixotically alternating hot and cold by one day proclaiming the President a lame duck, and the next heralding him as the greatest president since Franklin Pierce.

One Of These Kids Is More Popular Than The Other.

Much as a leech would, Congress eagerly clung to the President’s agenda, but lacking the President’s (or any, largely) personal magnetism, found itself the victim of what the press liked to call “an anti-incumbent agenda.”  Former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi realized too late that a sunny smile does little good when it’s the handiwork of San Mateo’s finest Face & Boobs man.

Then there was the Tea Party to consider.  The completely leaderless grassroots organization, headed by terrifying Campfire Girl Sarah Palin and funded by deep-pocketed partisans, managed to drive the few remaining moderate Republicans from the GOP.  This end was aided by the Republicans’ skill at figuratively fellating the Religious Right, although the Democrats made a game and creditable attempt at it.

Pretty-like-the-prom-queen huckster John Edwards imploded earlier this year, terrifyingly reminding people ignorant of Spiro Agnew that America came “this close” to electing a scumbag as vice-president.  Edwards’ estranged wife Elizabeth, long regarded as a dismissive, cold-hearted bitch, received secular canonization upon her recent death, and has been retconned into a nurturing, saintly person.  She got cheated on and she died?  Tsk.  You will be missed, Elizabeth.

Finally! Someone Faced A Debilitating Illness With Courage And Dignity. Don't You Wish Elizabeth Had Been Your Mom?

Former President George Bush was also considered for Person of the Year due to his lasting influence on the country, and on the Democratic Party in particular.  Until the weeks preceding the November elections, Democrats were so enamored of the former Republican Chief Executive that the words ‘George W. Bush’ comprised 25-35% of the typical Democratic fundraising speech.

Fugeeman responded to the Haitian earthquake with the aplomb and statesmanship one would expect from a Caribbean head of state; he announced a presidential bid which then unceremoniously petered out.  We also gave some thought to the Devil, who many experts, including noted theogeologist Pat Robertson, believe to be the ultimate author of the devastating Haitian Quake.  The UN deserved some consideration as well, despite that the global organization’s response to the Haitian Crisis was characteristically bungled and that it continues to counter both African genocide and rogue nuclear states with the twin forces of hand-wringing coupled with laughably empty threats.

The Machinations Of This Evil Genius Bedevil Us Still.

We considered several despots, including the scrappy madman Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran, who holds in equal contempt mullets and the Jews, and the comically diminutive Kim Jong-il, North Korea’s dying tyrant, who continues to terrify an impotent international community with his bellicose shenanigans, and who elevated his special-needs son to the #2 spot in the impoverished third-world hellhole.  And although he had a comparatively mellow 2010, ‘Lil Kim and Mood the Dude’s Axis of Evil amigo, Osama bin Laden, quietly exerted his pernicious influence on his legions of crazed followers.

Pop culture had its share of earth-shakers.  It was hard to overlook Josh Duhamel, whose masterful performance in the universally-beloved modern classic Transformers I and II shattered expectations about what movie-goers could expect from an infantile two-hour commercial.  At the same time an inane late-night war between TV icons Jay Leno and Conan O’Brien diverted the attentions of a grateful nation in the same way as does a bright piece of string or a shiny object.  And somewhere, Steve Jobs did something that made effete Mac users cream their shorts.

Is This The World You Want For Your Children?

In sporting news, the San Francisco Giants, called the ‘Hitler of Major League Baseball’ by at least one satiric internet source, won the World Series over the nearly-as-odious Texas Rangers.  Also, there was some scandal in cricket–it’s a game copied from baseball, apparently–that stoked the ire of millions across the globe, but was otherwise unimportant.

Taking all these people and events into account, we worked tirelessly to determine the single most transformational factor in 2010.  In the end, we were unanimous on our selection of Promethean Times as Promethean Times‘ Person of the Year, citing Promethean Times‘ ongoing benefit to the global community as well as its consistent awesomeness.  Promethean Times is “extremely surprised, but pleased” by the announcement.

And for Promethean Times‘ Douchebag of the Year: Michael “MiLo” Lohan. What the hell, right?

His Infernal Majesty Assures Us That In 2011, He'll Step His Game Up.

Happy 2011, everybody!

Promethean Times Questions Existence Of Sri Lanka

02 Thursday Dec 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, History

≈ 11 Comments

Tags

Atlantis, Austria, Barnaby Jones, Burkina Faso, California, cartographers, cartography lobby, Ceylon, Colombo, Colombo not Columbo, Cylons, Djibouti, geographic shenanigans, Haiti, mythical lands, Oz, Rand McNally, Sri Lanka, Tamil Tigers, Tamils, Tibet

By Smaktakula

Much Like Oz Or Atlantis, This Mythical Land Has Inspired The Imagination For Over 50 Years.

In recent months, international news has been replete with stories about Sri Lanka, from the hot and cold civil war between the government and the Tamil Tigers which ravished the tiny nation from 1983 to 2009, to the uneasy peace with exists today.  Thought not a cause célèbre like Tibet or Haiti, Sri Lanka is a region of concern for geopolitical strategists.  A simple internet search for Sri Lanka reveals thousands upon thousands of hits.  But does such a country even exist?

Cartographers say it does.  And on nothing more than the word of these men and women, millions of maps are made to their specifications.  Promethean Times questions the wisdom of placing so much power in the hands of such a small cadre.  It doesn’t take a genius to see that one or two corrupt cartographers could easily introduce a fake country to the world and elude discovery for years or even decades.

Damn! Tamil Chicks Don’t Mess Around.

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Have you or anyone you know ever been to Sri Lanka?
  • Have you ever met anyone from Sri Lanka?
  • Have you ever even heard mention of someone from Sri Lanka?

All three questions are easy enough to answer: Of course not!  Beginning to see the picture?  The folks at Rand McNally hope you don’t.

Colombo, Sri Lanka. Because “Barnaby Jones, Sri Lanka” Was Already Taken.

Promethean Times tracked down a man living in Southern California who claims to be from Sri Lanka.  “YS,” as we’ll call him (YS’s name has been withheld not to protect his anonymity, but to spare us the trouble of writing the 341 characters required for the task), agreed to a telephone interview with Promethean Times:

PT: And your contention is that Sri Lanka exists?

YS: (Laughs) Well, of course it exists.  I was born there.

PT:  Hmm.  Yes, you told us that.  What would you say if we told you we’d acquired a copy of your birth certificate?

YS:  You have my birth certificate?  That seems strange and unnecessary.  Why would you–

PT: (Interrupting) And do you know what it says under ‘Country of Birth?’

YS: (Continuing) . . . just find it really odd that you would do that.  I thought this was supposed–

PT: Do you know what it says?  You must since it’s your birth certificate.  Do you want to know?

YS: Tell me.

PT: Do you?

YS: What the hell is wrong with you, anyw–

PT: (Interrupting) It says ‘Ceylon.’

YS: Well, yes–obviously.  But in 1972, Ceylon was renamed Sri Lanka.

PT: Mr. S, you keep adding to your story.  First you were born in Sri Lanka, next you’re saying, ‘Oops, my mistake–I wasn’t born in Sri Lanka after all.  It was a magical land called Cylon.’

YS: Ceylon.

PT: And then Cylon and Sri Lanka are suddenly the same thing!  (Laughs) Frankly, Mr. S–Having repeatedly shown yourself averse to the truth, why should we believe anything you say?

YS: I don’t really care what you thi–

PT: (Interrupting) And what do you say to those critics who contend that people from ‘Sri Lanka’ are just Indians with darker tans?

YS:  What?  Who the hell says that?  Who?

PT:  Us, mostly.

YS:  Don’t call here again.  (Line goes dead)

Why do ‘Sri Lankans’ get so defensive when asked if theirs is a real country?  Perhaps because it’s not?  Until we’re prepared to ask the hard questions of the cartography lobby, we may never know the answer.

How Do We Know That Some Of These Other Wacky ‘Countries’–Burkina Faso, Djibouti, Austria–Even Exist?

Dedicated with much affection to a very tolerant Tamil.

Sinister Forces Align Against Fugeeman

01 Wednesday Sep 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, History, News, Politics

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

BET, Bolivarian Revolution, comical despots, elections, Fugeefoe, Fugeeman, Haiti, Haiti apparently not just a shoot-'em-up free-for-all, hip-hop, hip-hop jihadists, Hugo Chavez, impoverished third-world backwater, Michel Martelly, MTV, Pras, provisional election council, Saddam Hussein, Sean Penn, strongman, Sweet Micky, Venezuela, voodoo dolls, Wyclef Jean, zombies

By Smaktakula

Powerful interests have turned on Wyclef “Fugeeman” Jean in an effort to scuttle the hip-hop star’s bid to become president of his native Haiti.  Only a few weeks ago, when Fugeeman threw his braids into the ring, it seemed the musician-turned-statesman was certain to claim Haiti’s presidency, and at least make a passable effort at saving the doomed nation before looting its increasingly dry coffers.

Fugeeman: His Ascension To The Presidency Would Bump Voodoo Down To #2 On The List Of Things People Know About Haiti.

It may never come to pass: Haiti’s provisional election council has ruled that Jean is ineligible for the presidency since he has lived outside of Haiti during the last five years.  That Haiti has a governing body able to make such decisions will no doubt come as a shock to many observers, who reasonably assumed the impoverished nation to be much like the Wild West, only with voodoo dolls and zombies.

Fugeeman vowed to carry on.  But now there was blood in the water.  The next betrayal came from an unexpected source–Fugeeman’s former bandmate, Pras.  Pras signalled his betrayal with a metaphorical kiss on the cheek, saying that while he “loves Wyclef dearly,” he is supporting Michel “Sweet Micky” Martelly, citing both competence and a better nickname.

Sweet Micky Doesn't Want You To Be Swayed By Shitty Production Values.

A more notable Fugeefoe is talented actor and high school graduate Sean Penn.  Outside of his many fine performances on the big screen, Penn is perhaps best known for cozying up to undemocratic dictators like Saddam Hussein and Penn’s pal Hugo Chavez, as well as for talking a great deal on subjects of which he a limited understanding.  Penn reportedly fears that Fugeeman will allow American companies to come into Haiti with their filthy, economy-reviving money.  Presumably, Penn favors a Bolivarian type, like the coca-chawing Chavez.  Although it is unclear that Chavez’ successes in Venezuela could be replicated in Haiti, as there are no opposition television stations to shut down.  Furthermore, in Haiti the idea of a strongman abolishing the constitution and becoming dictator for life is old hat.

Sean Doesn't Understand Much Of What His BFF Is Saying, But He Nods And Smiles To Be Polite.

Perhaps Fugeeman’s only misstep in his campaign  has been when he referred to his “Rastafarian heritage.”  When a reporter responded that Rastafarianism was more commonly associated with Jamaica, Fugeeman patiently replied, “Haiti.  I’m from Haiti.”

Wyclef's Love Song To Haiti: "Bitch Better Have My Money."

Despite his obvious qualifications and overall grooviness, an unseen cadre has so far been successful in thwarting Jean’s historic bid.  However, Fugeeman is reportedly already preparing for this eventuality.  He is said to be quietly assembling an army of hip-hop jihadists,  and a flotilla of speedboats.  No one wants to avoid bloodshed more than the peace-professing musician.  But Fugeefoes beware: a coup sponsored by MTV and BET is hardly the worst career move Wyclef Jean could make.

Wyclef’s Just Another Word For Nothing Left To Lose

28 Wednesday Jul 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Music, North America, People, Politics

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Ben Jones, Caribbean, celebrity/statesman, fiduciary irresponsibility, Francois "Papa Doc" Duvalier, Fred Grandy, Fugeeman, Fugees, Haiti, hereditary dictatorship, Jean-Bertrand Aristide, Jean-Claude "Baby Doc" Duvalier, Kim Il-sung, Kim Jong-il, presidential election, Rick Santorum, Sonny Bono, Wyclef Jean

By Smaktakula

Grammy winner Wyclef Jean announced recently that he was mulling a run in Haiti’s upcoming presidential election.  The Haitian-born ex-Fugee is reportedly filing the necessary paperwork in the event he decides to make a bid in November.        

What The Hell, Right? Haiti Could Do A Lot Worse. In Fact, It Has.

This revelation is less shocking than it might at first appear.  Jean is internationally renowned, both for his music and for his political activism, and is particularly beloved in his native Haiti.  Moreover, the recent financial troubles involving Jean’s charity indicate that he possesses the requisite fiduciary irresponsibility to hold Haiti’s highest office.       

In the United States, entertainers have for many years distinguished themselves in politics.  Fred “Gopher” Grandy, Ben “Cooter” Jones and Rick “Santorum” Santorum are some of the best-known.        

Jean Won't Be The First Entertainer To Try His Hand In Politics. He Could, However, Be The First Black One. Also The First To Be Worth A Damn.

If Jean is serious about his bid, he’ll think of a good nickname.  Everybody remembers the brutal hereditary dictatorship of the Duvaliers–the Kim Il-sung and Kim Jong-il of the Caribbean.  First there was Francois “Papa Doc” Duvalier, who ruled the country from 1957 through 1971.  He was succeeded by his son, Jean-Claude “Baby Doc” Duvalier, who was finally ousted in 1986.  The Duvaliers may have been brutal thugs, but they had cool nicknames.       

Conversely, Jean-Bertrand Aristide was similarly despotic (although never matching the glorious excesses of the father and son tag-team), serving a couple non-consecutive terms before being chased out in 2004.  Despite being only six years removed from the national scene, the former priest is virtually forgotten.  A nickname may have been the only thing separating Aristide from historical immortality.  Jean-Bertrand Aristide is eminently forgettable, but “Gris-Gris” Aristide sticks in the memory.        

The Dynasty Duvalier: Despotism Done Right. Plus, Kick-Ass Nicknames!

Wyclef Jean is a man capable of making the leap from celebrity to statesman.  The right nickname will cement his place in history.  With this in mind, Promethean Times extends its most heartfelt wishes for success to Wyclef “Fugeeman” Jean.  Knock ’em dead, Fugeeman!

Our Lady Of Nothing Better To Do

05 Friday Feb 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Constitutional Issues, Politics, Religion

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

athiesm, Christianity, First Amendment, Freedom From Religion Foundation, Haiti, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Teresa, Nation of Islam, Separation of church and state, Stamps

By Smaktakula

It’s fortunate we live in an age of such relative affluence and comfort that groups like the Freedom From Religion Foundation can devote some measure of their manufactured indignity in such ridiculous pursuits as the Mother Teresa Stamp Controversy.

Americans who understand their First Amendment rights know that the government has no place endorsing a particular religion.  Largely, this is an issue which is not in debate.  What is in debate is whether including Mother Teresa on a US stamp is tantamount to endorsing a religion.

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