07 Monday Jun 2010
Posted in Culture, Europe, History, International Relations, Justice, Military, Mythology, Politics, Relationships
Tags
6 June 1944, Allies, Axis, Battle of Normandy, Canada, D Day, evil shenanigans, France, Frogs, Germany, Gold, Great Moments In American Diplomacy, Jerry, Juno, Krauts, Normandy Invasion, Normandy Landing, Omaha, Operation Neptune, Operation Overlord, Sword, The Hun, United Kingdom, United States of America, Utah
June 6, 1944: On Which The Hun Is Made To Understand That His Evil Shenanigans Will No Longer Be Tolerated.
07 Monday Jun 2010
Tags
fake n' bake, famous for nothing, Flintstones Chewable Vitamins, Goombah, Guidettes, Guidos, herpes, Herpes Nest, Italian Stereotypes, J-Woww, Jersey Shore, promiscuity, reality television, skankery, skanks, Snooki, STDs, The Clap, The Shore, The Situation, unfortunately-named celebrities, unlike your 15 minutes of fame herpes lasts forever, Valtrex, well-known whores, your mother must be very proud
Who knew there could be consequences from living a life without consequences?
Who knew the thought of the Jersey Shore cast gobbling Valtrex like they were Flintstones Chewable Vitamins would be so disturbing?
Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here
What’s The Difference Between J-Woww And A Midget Con Man? Well, One’s A Cunning Runt . . .Jersey Shore creator hands out herpes medicine to cast ‘like M&Ms,’ says report.
03 Thursday Jun 2010
Posted in Stupidity
Tags
ad hominem, backwater shithole, crap oasis, gambling, haiku, holding a grudge, Jackpot, jerkwater burg, Mormons, Nevada, nowherseville, places that suck, Suck It!, the sticks, vendettas
Here’s another haiku for you:
Jackpot, Nevada
You suck suck suck suck suck suck
suck suck suck so bad.
This Crap Oasis Exists So That Mormons Can Gamble
Don’t act so surprised. We’ve made no bones about our tendency to go all ad hominem from time to time.
03 Thursday Jun 2010
Posted in Crime, Health, Hollywood, National Events, People, Relationships, Television
Tags
Black Widow, Cathy Smith, Celebrity Death Watch, celebrity deaths, Diff'rent Strokes, Diff'rent Strokes Curse, emergency aid, Emmanuel Lewis, famous short people, famous virgins, Gary Coleman, Gary Coleman's widow, John Belushi, Shannon Price, small black actor, speedball, unconsummated marriages, Yoko Ono
Not since Cathy Smith served John Belushi his last speedball has a woman been responsible for singlehandedly robbing the world of so much talent.
Black Widow & Black Midget During Happier Times
Shannon Price, who claims to be Gary Coleman’s wife (Coleman’s lawyer claims the couple was divorced at the time of the actor’s death), delayed seeking aid for a wounded Coleman, who later died.
From the 911 call:
“He just got home, I heard this big bang, I went downstairs. Blood everywhere,” she says. “I don’t know if he’s OK. I’m not down there right now because I have seizures, if I get stressed out I’m going to seize.”
Nice going, Yoko.
Hear The Future Mrs. Emmanuel Lewis’ Side Of The Story: Gary Coleman’s wife resisted giving him emergency aid – CNN.com.
02 Wednesday Jun 2010
Posted in Art, Crime, Culture, General Foolishness, Justice, People, Television
Tags
celebrity chef, criminals, culinary crimelord, Diners Drive-Ins and Dives, Food Network, Guy Fieri, Juan-Carlos Cruz, murder-for-hire, skeevy, unleashed, unpunished, unrepentant, white trash
For the second time in the past few months, a celebrity chef has been charged with a crime. And again, it wasn’t Guy Fieri.
The severity of these crimes appears to be on the rise. Juan-Carlos Cruz has been accused of soliciting murder-for-hire.
If He Had It To Do Again, Juan-Carlos Would Most Likely NOT Enlist Random Homeless People In A Murder-For-Hire Plot.
It would be hard to find someone critical of putting a murderer–or in Cruz’ case, an alleged murderer–behind bars. The community is undeniably a safer place with Cruz off the streets.
Critics charge that offenders such as Cruz are low-hanging fruit. Perhaps the authorities would be wise to invest their energies in bringing down America’s culinary crimelord:
Fieri: Unpunished, Unrepentant, Unleashed
01 Tuesday Jun 2010
Posted in Critters, Culture, Duh, General Foolishness, Mythology, National Events, National Politics, People, Politics, Relationships
Tags
Al Gore, Al Gore sleeps alone, An Inconvenient Truth, bedroom cooling, climate change, divorce, Environmental Chicken Littleism, environmentalism, fat people, gasbag, global warming, good move Tipper!, has-been, Hillbuzz, I'm super-serial!, laughingstock, ManBearPig, mid-life crisis, Ragnarok, scaremongering, search for meaning, search for relevance, separation, South Park, sweat act, Tipper Gore, Tipper leaving Al, Vice President Gore
Watch Out For Bedroom Cooling. I'm Super-Serial!
01 Tuesday Jun 2010
Tags
Baltimore, Chief Joseph, fraternal organization, Improved Order of Red Men, Indians, Maryland, Native Americans, Nez Perce, Political Correctness, racism, Red Man 1.0, unimproved red men
The Improved Order of Red Men is a fraternal organization founded in 1834 in Baltimore, Maryland.
What quality is it that separates the improved red men from their pre-improvement brethren? Mostly whiteness, as it turns out.
Red Man 1.0 (Worth More In Original Packaging)
New & Improved
31 Monday May 2010
Posted in Asia, Culture, Duh, International Relations, Military, People, Politics, Relationships, World Affairs
Tags
appeasement, batshit crazy, Cheonan, China, comical despots, Japan, Kim Jong-il, Kim Jong-il is batshit crazy, News of the Duh, North Korea, So Ronery, South Korea, Team America: World Police, torpedo attack
The Leaders of Japan, South Korea and China held a summit recently to discuss North Korea’s unprovoked torpedo attack on the South Korean vessel, the Cheonan.
Apparently, one objective of the summit was to determine whether North Korea’s action, which resulted in the Cheonan’s sinking and the loss of 46 sailors, was a threat to peace.
They determined that it was.
So Ronery? Ronery Rike A Fox!
See These Three Wise Men Try To Find Their Posteriors With Both Hands And A Flashlight: BBC News – Asian trio say Cheonan sinking is threat to peace.
31 Monday May 2010
Tags
brilliant dirty weirdos, crazy bastard, Dr. Grigori Perelman, Dr. Grigory Perelman, famous virgins, mad Russian genius, Mathsputin, people with unibrows, Poincare Conjecture, proof of God, proving the existence of God, Russia
Not content to rest on his laurels after conquering the Poincaré Conjecture, Promethean Times’ favorite brilliant, dirty weirdo has apparently gone all metaphyisical. According to a pal, Grigori Perelman believes he has proven the existence of God.
Grigori, Grigory . . . Whatever. Is All Good
This information may be suspect, however. This same friend claims that Perelman is–get this–a virgin.
The day a brilliant, dirty, Russian weirdo sharing a cockroach-infested apartment with his mother in Ivanhoe, Siberia can’t get laid is the day the sun rises in the west. Of course, stranger things have happened.
Is True. I Am Crazy Bastard Who Proved God Exists. You Read: Grigory Perelman Uncertain if He Should Be Rewarded for Proving Existence of God – Pravda.Ru.
28 Friday May 2010
Tags
Arnold Jackson, Celebrity Death Watch, celebrity deaths, child stars, Corey Haim, Diff'rent Strokes, Diff'rent Strokes Curse, Dudley Is Next, famous short people, famous virgins, former child stars, Gary Coleman, Haimster, head injury, kidney problems, small black actor, Whatchootalkinboutwillis?
Gary Coleman is dead at 42.
Too soon after Corey, man. Too soon.
Thisiswhatimtalkingboutwillis: Diff’rent Strokes Star Gary Coleman Dies at 42 : People.com.
Promethean Times 